Whether you’ve thoroughly explored the realms of sexual pleasure, or you’re just starting out, it’s normal to experience sexual anxiety. It’s a problem that affects men and women of all ages, regardless of how much intercourse experience they have. This could be due to issues with body image, mental health, relationship issues, intimacy fears, or previous traumatic experiences. Sex should be a pleasurable experience for both partners (consensually, of course). Many people, however, do not have the opportunity to do so. It puts a lot of pressure on women to reach orgasm, especially now that we live in a society where the ‘ultimate goal’ of sex is for both partners to reach orgasm (which is only 65 percent of the time, as compared to males, which is 95 percent). The symptoms for sexual anxiety in women are:
- You have a hard time getting wet enough for intercourse.
- The muscles in your vaginal area tense up, making penetration difficult or impossible.
- You lose desire to engage in sex
If that sounds familiar to you, you might be experiencing sex anxiety. You might be thinking: Will I ever get to enjoy sex? Well, there might just be a way! Here are some ways you can cope with sex anxiety:
Be open with your partner
When it comes to sex, always remember that communication is key! So if you’re experiencing some anxiety during sex, telling your partner about it might just help you ease some of your worries. This will bring you closer together, which will benefit your sexual life. According to a study, women who talked about sex were more likely to experience orgasms. So, the next time you’re worried about taking too long to reach orgasm or being unable to stay aroused, talk to your partner. And don’t hold it against yourself; it’s not your fault!
Focus on what feels good
When you focus on what feels good, you’ll get to understand what your sexual needs are. The reality is everyone has different needs, so don’t feel ashamed to express what you like (or what you don’t like) to your partner! Try showing yourself some love through self-touch and masturbation, you’ll know what you like soon enough, which will definitely improve your sex life.
Go to therapy
There is no shame in going to therapy. Talking to a therapist can help you understand where your worries are coming from, and how to deal with them. Sometimes, getting some professional advice can really benefit many aspects of your life that are not necessarily sex-related.
Be comfortable with your own body (own it!)
Let’s face it, most of us have something we don’t like about our bodies. Many people, unfortunately, have low self-esteem and a negative body image. We are self-conscious about how our naked bodies appear to others and whether or not they find us attractive. But this stops now! Sexpert Emily Nagoski advises people to stand in front of a mirror, as close to naked as you can tolerate, look at what you see there, and write down everything you see that you like. Self-acceptance and comfort with your own body don’t happen overnight; you’ll need to keep practicing it. So no more negative self-talk, because you are absolutely GORGEOUS!
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