Raise your hand if you currently have an eye on someone – I’m talking about SINGLE and AVAILABLE people, of course. If you’re in a healthy, happy, committed relationship – then raise your hand only slightly. I’m judging you very, very hard. Unless you’re referring to your current partner, which is cute. Anyway, whether you’re 14 or 24, sometimes, dealing with ‘’a crush’’ can be a little dreadful and you have to call for reinforcement. (That’s what we’re here for).
We get it – having a crush is equivalent to constantly needing to clear your mind and think about literally anything else besides what’s consuming your headspace due to a case of obsessive thinking. All of those things will lead to you spending too much time on the same thoughts, getting stuck in a loop of inaction and turning positive reflection into debilitating worry. Worrying and overthinking about whether someone will call you or text you back, whether they like you, and did you say too much or too little are all common topics, yada yada yada.
I wish girls could be so easy to reassure. Normally, I would just tell my friends, ‘’If they’re not texting you back, just go to sleep!’’ But yeah, until your friends call you up at 2 in the morning talking about ‘’What ifs…’. So, the first step is to look at the bigger picture. If you happen to settle down with your crush in another 5 to 10 years from now, would it matter if you accidentally spilled coffee right in front of them? Would you still think that was an embarrassing moment, or something to look back on and consider as a cute memory? Surely the latter, so now, stop replaying the same event over and over again and wondering if you could turn back time. Just let it go.
Next, assume a good intent. I understand that you sometimes look too much into things. Why? You’re assuming something bad lies underneath, something like a bad perception, someone is secretly playing you, or toying with you, or any other unfavorable thing. When you catch yourself doing this, switch your assumptions to believing what you’re reading into as well-intended, or at least neutral. Which leads to the third point” replace “What if” with “We’ll see.”
If you keep asking yourself “What if,” (which is an impossible question to answer), quickly switch to “We’ll see,” which is a way of moving past analysis paralysis to acceptance. If your crush says something like, ‘’Next month, I’m taking you to Genting’,’ instead of saying, ‘’But what if we’re not gonna see each other anymore?’’, just casually replace it with, ‘’Yeah, we’ll see..’’. Settle and be less desperate!
Last but not least, go outside and just enjoy the world. OMG, the world does not revolve around that particular someone. Stop spending so much time in your head. Get outside it and switch gears to connect with what’s going on around you so you can take joy in it. I mean it!