If you’re in your 20’s, chances are you’ve probably heard about the hook-up culture, or you’ve participated in it. Whether you’re male or female, many people of our generation seem to be embracing it as the new way to deal with relationships and it’s not surprising at all. Hook-ups allow for for zero commitment, minimal emotional attachment and tons of physical pleasure. Surely, not many would say no to that.
While society assumes that only men are experts of emotionless hook-ups and one-night-stands, we reckon that both men and women could be equally capable or incapable of dividing their emotions and their bodies. So, what happens when you are vulnerable? The answer is simple – don’t engage in hook-ups at all. Here are five reasons why:
1. You’ll give – When you’re emotionally invested during a hook-up, you’ll pour your heart and soul into it. You’ll give, even if he doesn’t offer or appears to be uncaring, and you’ll be extra sensitive to every little thing he does during your session together. When he gently holds your hand, tucks your hair behind your ear or tells you that you have beautiful eyes, you’re going to be thinking about it more than you should, even when he’s just doing and saying those things because he’s ‘in the moment’.
2. You’ll expect – When you start giving, you’ll want the favour to be returned and you’ll be feeling all sorts of disappointment when your expectations aren’t met. You’d experience a post-hookup hangover, which stems from having a surge of bonding hormones pumping through your system without having anyone to bond to. It could be something as simple as having the desire to cuddle after sex, when all he does right away is get dressed and wave you goodbye.
3. You’ll feel lonely – After all the passionate sex, you’ll realize at the end of the day that it isn’t all that pleasurable. Yes, in that moment in time, it’ll feel wonderful and your self-worth may be proven. He chose you, when there are plenty of other women out there. But after that moment passes, after all the ego stroking, flirting and when all the sheets are messed up, you’d still feel alone and this might be worse especially if you’ve developed a slight interest in him.
4. You’ll be dejected – What else would you be feeling? Heart broken, of course. Your short-lived ‘romance’ would pretty much be over way before it even gets a chance to begin. You’ll probably be distracted by the thoughts of him and you’d be anxiously waiting for him to drop you a text, even if you know he isn’t going to get back to you. This will hurt, bad. Worse still, you’ll be trying to look for proof that it wasn’t just meaningless sex.
5. You’ll dwell – When everything’s done and dusted, you’ll still be up in the clouds thinking about what could have been and how the both of you would be spending time together if you were in a romantic relationship. Even after months, the slightest things that remind you of him would bring back these feelings and it’s definitely unhealthy for your future relationships.
We’re not saying that ALL men are in it just for pleasure, but, let’s face it, it is highly unlikely for the hook-up to blossom into a romantic committed relationship. Trust us on this, if and only if you are 100% sure you are capable of numbing your emotions, don’t get involved in hooking up. It will make you feel shitty about yourself.