Aight, before we get into this topic, let’s get one thing straight: If you wanna have sex on the first date, and both of you are consenting adults, you have every right to do so. But is it really a good idea? When it comes having sex on the first date, many women would refrain from doing the deed since they would worry that the other person would later lose interest in them, because it makes them seem “easy”. Yes, unfortunately, it’s not uncommon for people to ditch someone after doing it. However, this doesn’t mean that waiting before sex is going to magically lead you to a relationship. So, if you’re currently on a date with a guy you met on a dating app (let’s be real here) and you can’t decide whether you should sleep with him, keep reading! Here are some reasons why you should/shouldn’t have sex on the first date to help you make your decision:
Why you SHOULD get it on ASAP.
Having sex on the first date can be liberating and exciting. It can even improve your sexual self-esteem! Sex is undeniably important for some couples in a relationship, and having sex on the first date can let you test your sexual chemistry and compatibility. It’s also a good way to figure out the other person’s intentions early on since you can determine if they’re only in it for the sex or if they’re here for the long run. If they suddenly ghost you or suddenly become emotionally distant, they probably didn’t have a real interest in you anyway. Just know that it wasn’t because you “put out” on the first date; they just weren’t in it for the long haul. Better to rip the band-aid off early on!
And before you start worrying about the repercussions, just know that sleeping with someone is not going to make or break a relationship. What will happen, will happen, so wouldn’t you rather live in the moment? Anxiety kills chemistry, so relax, and embrace your sexuality!
Why you SHOULDN’T put out on the first date.
If you’re a person who falls in love or gets emotionally attached easily, having sex on the first date could be a bad idea. This is because sex clouds judgement, and can cause you to not see things as objectively anymore. What usually ends up happening is that when the physical part starts to fade, both of you realize that you don’t really have anything in common with each other after all.
It’s one thing when both partners are looking to have fun, hook up, and not get into anything serious. But, if one of you is looking for something serious and one is not, it can turn into a painful situation for both parties who aren’t on the same page. When you first have sex with someone who you’re not familiar with, things can get pretty awkward. To quote drag queen Trixie Mattel, “Hot people, it doesn’t mean they’re good in bed, and ugly people, doesn’t mean they deserve to live.” Okay, maybe not the second half. But it’s true, even if you’re super attracted to your date, the sex still might not be great, since you don’t know what they like in bed. This could lead to either you or your partner losing interest in each other when in reality, all you really need was a little more practice (trust me, it gets better the more you do it!).
If you’re looking for a relationship, it’s better to build a solid emotional connection first. Sleeping with each other on the first date is like going straight for dessert before dinner, you’re missing out on the delicious main course! Chances are, the more you’re comfortable with each other, the better the sex would be. Let it simmer, and build up the sexual tension, so you can go crazy on each other when the time is right.
So, should you have sex on the first date?
It really depends. If it feels right, and you’re physically and emotionally prepared for it, why not? Just make sure to always communicate what each of you wants out of this, and be honest with your date and with yourself. But, if it doesn’t feel right, there’s no harm in waiting a bit longer. After all, waiting can also be great foreplay. The bottom line is, no matter what your decision is, it shouldn’t be influenced by societal norms on sex.
What do you think about having sex on the first date?
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