Cheating isn’t always a black and white issue. Sometimes, it comes in fifty shades of grey!
No one enjoys being physically or emotionally cheated on. With the most recent dating craze, “micro-cheating,” however, you might be disloyal without even being aware of it. Of course, only you and your partner can decide what you two deem to be cheating, but micro-cheating further obscures how infidelity is defined. Cheating may appear to be a simple process. However, micro-cheating is a much trickier area. What is it, exactly?
The term “micro-cheating” refers to little actions you take that may contain hints of infidelity – without ever actually crossing a line. These insignificant actions may lead you to situations that you will later regret. You might be doing it with or without your partner’s knowledge, out of sight, or even in front of them. However, given the potential for further development, such a habit can be problematic. Here’s how to recognize these “micro” behaviours.
Secretly communicating with someone
Micro-cheating can occasionally begin unintentionally. Your graduate school ex hasn’t contacted you in years, but just as your birthday was approaching, he sent you a text wishing you a happy birthday. There’s no harm done, right? But then, a situation of micro-cheating arises when you text them back and they text you back. In fact, you can prevent it. You choose to carry on the conversation, nevertheless. It quickly becomes a daily occurrence. Even if it’s only a text or a social media app, talking to someone when it comes from a position of concealment is inappropriate.
Getting the feels
Even though there is no physical contact, you could still be cheating. While you are dating someone else, developing an emotional connection with another person is a form of micro-cheating that might escalate. Some people contend that this is worse than outright cheating. If you feel “special” after the micro-interactions, you can detect if you are micro-cheating very quickly. Feelings of being desired, appreciated, attractive, seductive, being pursued – you name it – can be experienced. It’s simple to recognize that you’re micro-cheating when you consider your feelings.
Checking out your ex
There are so many ways to micro-cheat on social media. Liking Kim Kardashian’s bikini photo would not constitute micro-cheating, but leaving a heart-eyes comment on your ex’s photo may. What’s the harm in having a quick look at your ex’s Instagram or Facebook account, right? We all occasionally do it, but as you may already be aware of, it may easily send you down a rabbit hole. But the farther you go down that rabbit hole, the more you become unaware of the moment. Ask yourself whether you would appreciate it if your partner checked up on a former acquaintance. I’m confident that we all know the answer to that.
Thinking about someone else
Asking yourself how much time you spend thinking about this person every day is another sign that you’re micro-cheating. Then contrast that with how frequently you consider your mate. Is there a balance? Anyways, why are you devoting so much of your mental resources to someone you aren’t even dating? Thinking of someone else, other than your partner, is definitely not normal. I mean, if you’re in a committed relationship, shouldn’t you be having thoughts and eyes on just one person?
In a relationship, lying is never a good thing. However, lying because you know it would upset your partner makes you realize that you really shouldn’t be doing what you’re doing at all. A common micro-cheating case most of us can relate to is when you intentionally hide your browsing history or lock your smartphone because you don’t want your partner to know you are communicating with a certain person. A good point, yes? If you have no secrets, then why hide these things? I’m not saying you shouldn’t have some privacy. You can. But things like talking to someone else and doing things you shouldn’t is beyond privacy.
On dating sites
Whether you’re engaging in conversation with others or randomly swiping to check out guys/girls, that is micro-cheating. A basic thing: why be on dating sites when you are in a happy, committed relationship? Some people create a dating profile supposedly to only “see what’s out there.” However, they seldom consider that others might be aware of what they are “looking at.” Even while it could appear to be harmless, if you do nothing, it could be detrimental. Actions always have an effect, especially in the modern world with technology as it is. Additionally, it should be a warning sign if you want to use a dating app when you are with someone.
Telling people you’re single
You have a brief flirtation after a guy offers you a drink. That now seems fairly innocent. However, lying when he asks if you’re single, while you’re actually in a relationship, is straight up micro-cheating. I know that occasionally we need the feeling of being single once more, but confiding with someone who can make that possible would be unfaithful. Why would you feel the need to deny having a boyfriend/girlfriend ? Okay, if the only purpose is to get free beers all night, that’s probably fine. However, if it’s beyond the free drinks and you are content to let another guy think you are not involved while enjoying his attention, you’re on the wrong track.
Fantasizing life with them
This is gross (and creepy) AF!
It’s common to fantasize about someone other than your partner or even to develop a crush while you’re in a relationship, of course. But if you are completely occupied by fantasizing about a life with someone else, it might be time to reconsider your relationship. If you began imagining what it would be like to be with the person, it is definitely micro-cheating. And if you already have a significant other, you may need to give the reason behind your intense feelings for someone else some careful thought.
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