Have you been in a situation where you’re not sure whether you’re in a healthy relationship or a nasty, toxic one? Healthy relationships and toxic relationships are easy to differentiate when you’re just looking at them from afar, but it’s hard to realise once you’re trapped in them. The thing about having a toxic partner is that they make you feel like you will never get someone better than them, or nobody’s gonna love you like they do – but at the same time, blame you for everything and also make you feel loved, but conditionally. It’s confusing, but really easy to determine once you are aware of the signs.
Healthy relationships may get you and your partner in a conflict every now and then, but it’s mostly on the basis of love, respect and understanding towards each other. Toxic relationships on the other hand, lack all these basic elements of a good and strong relationship. Still confused? Well, if you recognise these few things that I’m about to list down, in your relationship, then, bruh, GET OUT OF IT!
1. Lack Of Support And Respect
If your partner gives you support in whatever you do and respects you as a person, as their partner and even respects your goals, dreams and passions – you have scored yourself a keeper! But, if they don’t give you any of the things mentioned above, you might want to sit down and have a little chat with yourself because your relationship may be heading the wrong way. If you and your partner are in a non-toxic relationship, it’s natural for the both of you to want to see each other succeed in all areas of your life. Whereas in a toxic one, your partner may look down on your goals, does not offer support whatsoever in any way – even to the point of despising you over your success.
That is when you should know that you’re pretty much in trouble. Your partner should be encouraging and supportive towards you – that ensures happiness and sort of gives you “power” because you have your lover motivating you all the time. A good partner is there for you at every step of your life, be it for good or ill.
Your relationship should be on the basis of respect for each other. Respecting you as a life-partner and respecting your decisions. If they call you names, make you feel insecure and make you hate yourself, that’s a big NO, honey. Those are just red-flags and signs you need to get out of that relationship.
It ain’t about the cutesy jealousy that goes away after a kiss – we’re talking about toxic jealousy that stresses you out and blocks you from talking to anyone at all. Trust me, I’ve seen what it did to some marriages. Jealousy is the ultimate factor in toxicity that one can portray in a relationship. But, how do you know for certain your partner’s jealousy is toxic? Ask yourself this: does your partner constantly fight with you for talking to certain people? Is there always suspicion and mistrust when they ask you who your friends are?
That is a big factor that should give it away. Jealousy that results in major fights and causes stress is toxic and relationships should not have that. So if you’re in one, save yourself!
3. Being Controlling/ Possessiveness
Oh boy! This is one is a significant trait found in most toxic relationships. Being controlling is different from being protective. Being protective is when your partner is aware of your safety and whereabouts, is always on the look out for you. And then we have controlling, which is when you aren’t allowed to do anything you like or wish to do. I have a friend, who, in all the years of her relationship, has never gotten to do what she likes, dress how she likes and even hang out where she wants. If your situation is similar to his, sorry to break it to you – your partner isn’t caring about you, but they are actually keeping you under their control.
Where over-possessiveness is present, double standards are also naturally practiced. You are not allowed to do it, but your partner can and you shall not question it. Like, what the hell? No, just no.
4. Walking On Eggshells
It is completely normal, and in fact healthy, to have arguments and conflicts. What matters most is the both of you figuring out what’s wrong and trying to work on that. But if you think not twice but thrice to even discuss a matter with your significant other, that’s a red flag. That’s FEAR. Healthy relationships should make you feel comfortable discussing whatever issue or problem. A clear sign of toxicity is you not say anything in order to avoid fights that would be triggered just cause you open your mouth.
The above are signs that you are walking on eggshells in your relationship, and it is not fun at all. Seriously – trust me, I have been there, done that and I’m so out of it!
So, did any of these ring a bell for you? Well, if any did, it is pretty clear that you may be in a toxic relationship and you need to get the puck out!
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