Sex is pretty great, but it’s not always as smooth sailing as the movies portray it as. In real life, it’s filled with bumps and bruises along the way, and it can get pretty bad sometimes, like, broken penis kinda bad. From hickeys to heart attacks, there is so much that can go wrong during sex! Today, we’ll be looking at some sex injuries and how you can deal with them:
This happens most often after some rough hanky-panky. Some other factors include: vigorous thrusting into the vagina (this includes objects), vaginal dryness, vaginal scarring or tissue damage, vulvovaginal atrophy (a condition in which vaginal tissues become drier, thinner, and less elastic). This one hurts, and they’re a b*tch to deal with!
The vagina is a self-healing body part, so small tears will heal themselves in a few days. You can try sitting in a warm bath and cleaning your genitals to avoid an infection. Dry off the area thoroughly with a towel and apply an antiseptic cream or barrier cream such as petroleum jelly to protect and soothe the area. However, if it’s extreme pain, then it’s a good idea to talk to your doctor.
Generally, a carpet burn is minor and won’t cause lasting problems. It occurs when our skin rubs against a rough surface, or in this case, another person, most commonly in the pubic area.
To keep the carpet matching the drapes, just gently dab the area with a bit of antiseptic or aloe vera gel. And try avoiding friction around the area by wearing loose clothing.
Foreign Objects in the Vagina
Fun fact: the two most common foreign objects that gynecologists encounter are tampons and condoms. Duh, what did you think “foreign objects” was referring to?
First thing to do: relax. This is important, because you would want to wait till your vagina gets back to its normal size, since it’s most likely engorged from sex. So wait 10-15 minutes, and stick your finger in there and fish that sh*t out! Though you can also go to a doctor and ask them to get it out for you if you’re not able to do it yourself.
Sex involves a lot of weird and honestly, awkward AF positions. These, plus the vigorous movements? It’s a recipe for a back injury. It’s one of the most common sex injuries and it can get quite annoying.
What to do? Rest – and some ice is usually all you need to heal from this. However, if you experience any pain in the knees, elbows or any other joint, you should definitely pay the doctor a visit!
Urinary Tract Infection
There is bacteria EVERYWHERE. This leaves your urethra in a vulnerable position during sex, especially for women. A simple fix for this is to pee before and after having sex. Though men have a much lower chance of getting a UTI, we can’t rule out the possibility, so pee dammit!
The signs of a UTI include: burning feeling when peeing, fever, chills, pain in the lower abdomen. If you have all these signs, consult a doctor ASAP!
Ouch. It hurts just thinking about it. This happens when the penis slips out while its owner is thrusting, hitting HARD against their partner’s pelvis. This is unlike a finger or toe fracture, since a penis has no bones. What happens is the force/impact ruptures one of the two cylinders inside a penis that fills up with blood during an erection. You might hear a popping sound, experience swelling, followed by intense pain.
Yeah, we don’t have a remedy for this one either – get medical help right away!
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