Setting boundaries with others – regardless of the type of connection you have with them – is a healthy method of safeguarding your psychological health, as we all know. It’s to raise awareness among others about your inner self, and what you will or will not tolerate. However, we frequently make unintentional blunders while setting our limits. As a result of our frequent mistakes, our boundaries eventually seem meaningless, leading others to eventually disregard them.
Of course, it is never our fault when people choose to ignore our boundaries. However, to prevent misunderstanding and miscommunication, here are four common errors we should be aware of that we tend to make while establishing our boundaries:
Be Short And Sweet
People frequently trivialise their boundaries to prevent upsetting or insulting others, but this leaves boundaries unclear, leaving people puzzled or with a slight opportunity to disregard the boundaries we’ve established. When individuals step over our lines, it’s usually because we weren’t explicit enough.
Explain your limits in as few words as possible, with a clear message. Plus, there’s no need to excessively explain yourself because that will simply add to the misunderstanding – be as direct as possible with your boundaries.
Don’t Pose It As A Question
Try to express it as a statement rather than a question when attempting to define your boundaries. It’s more likely to turn into a dispute if you pose a question, or phrase it that way. Instead of saying “Can you stop making jokes about my body?”, say “I’m not comfortable with you making comments about my looks.” By clarifying your limits, you will avoid any disagreement and help the other party to better understand your limitations.
When our boundaries are violated, we often become enraged, but we don’t know what to do or say next, thus the offense continues. When establishing limits, it’s useful to specify the action you’ll take or the repercussions they’ll face if the boundary is crossed.
When your boundaries are being crossed, it’s always preferable to stand your ground. When you openly state the consequences of crossing your boundaries, they will back down and respect your boundaries significantly.
Be Alert With Your Body
Many people have difficulty deciding where to establish their limitations, which typically results in your boundaries being breached even if you haven’t set them yet. Try noting how you feel emotionally and physically, to become more aware of your boundaries. When you’re in an unpleasant circumstance and your chest tightens or you feel uncomfortable, take note. The objective is to pay attention to what your body is telling you and pick what feels acceptable.
Source: Therapy With Abby
More on mental health? Read these: