All women dream of having a glamorous wedding and happy marriage. And while we’re accustomed to the idea of marriage, we often forget what it’s really about the relationship, and not the fantasy of finally settling down. But have you thought about whether you’re really ready to commit to someone for the rest of your life? Or what you’re going to do if your husband is just never in the mood to get sensual? Here’s five facts about the reality of marriage.
1. There Will Be Doubt
We often glamorize the concept of finding ‘The One’. And while a few of us may think it’s just sentimental mumbo-jumbo, we can’t help but wonder if this person is in fact the person we want to spend the rest of life with, have kids and wake up to every morning. There will be moments of regret, but the human spirit is bound to encounter these moments. So if you find yourself in this situation, take a deep breath and don’t over-think things. If it gets out of hand, seek the advice of a marriage counsellor.
2. Sex is Important
True romantics will proudly say that it’s not about the sex. But let’s face it – sex is what will harness intimacy and romance in a marriage. Physical intimacy is vital to maintaining a healthy and happy relationship, and the absence of sex between partners is often a sign of dysfunction and disconnection in the marriage. As to how often you’ll want to ‘do it’, that’s up to you and your husband to decide.
3. Fight Often
We believe that marriage should always be about being happy-go-lucky fools in love all the time, but it’s really not the case. Having fights and arguments can be healthy but don’t be a 15 year-old and expect the other to apologize first. Having arguments will show you just how much you’re willing to confront someone about something instead of just hiding. Men would much prefer an honest opinion from a woman than be silent and spiteful. So if there’s something you disagree on, tell him how you feel. And let’s just say that make-up sex is quite treat for every couple!
4. You Come Second, He Comes First
While we all insist on putting our needs first, marriage requires you to put yourself second. Selflessness is what we’re talking about, and we don’t mean bowing down to each one of your husband’s requests. It could be as simple as letting your husband choose what he wants to do over the weekend, even if you don’t fancy the choice. But even if you do, work around it and try to have fun. Once you see your man having fun, it’ll wear on you and you’ll feel pleased yourself. And if your man’s one hell of a gem, he’ll even do put you first in his life too!
5. Dry Spells Are Okay
Yes, we’re talking about sex here! As we mentioned above, sex is vital for a happy marriage, but don’t worry if you don’t really have sex. Sometimes he’s not in the mood, or sometimes you’re not, but that’s okay! Sexless periods are natural, and it’s not a sign that you’ve lost the sense of attraction or your ‘mojo’, but maybe you’re just a little overworked from your personal stresses. Our advice, is to get a good night of sleep, and then when you’re feeling refreshed, go kiss your man on the cheek and tell him what you’re missing.