Dear Ms. Lipstiq,
I can’t seem to understand my boyfriend when it comes to him and his friends and lately it has gotten worse. When his friends call him out, he is out of the door within seconds, but I need something, he takes forever to come a help me. Recently, the worse thing happened. We were celebrating a special occasion so i decided to cook him up and meal, and set up a romantic candle lit dinner. He came for the dinner, but before he commented on the set up, he said he could only stay for an hour because his friends are meeting him at the mamak to catch a football game. I didn’t know what to say… I was pretty stunned. I’ve brought up the topic many times, but he tells me i’m not understanding or giving him any space. What should I do? I’m lost on how to respond to this… it’s making me very unhappy!
What you’re going through is absolutely normal – in fact, 80% of all relationships go through this kind of issue. Though, it was not right for him to completely leave you hanging on a important and special occasion. You should bring that particular topic up to him and talk about. It may be because his friends are pressuring him or otherwise. After all, men don’t want to be the ‘party-popper’ in their circle of friends. Talk it over with him and tell him you are okay with him seeing his friends, but not at every second of the day. He needs to learn that the time with you and his friends can be split in the right way so that it doesn’t affect anyone. Talking is the only option here – once you’ve informed him, the rest is up to him and what he chooses to accept and not accept.
Let’s keep our fingers crossed that he will listen to your side of everything.