Ever left a discussion feeling confused about what you had said because your every word was used against you?
Yeah, then you have been gaslighted, darling…
In abusive relationships, gaslighting is a type of manipulation. It is a subtle and sometimes covert form of emotional abuse in which the tyrant or abuser causes the victim to doubt their own judgments and reality. Eventually, the victim of gaslighting begins to question their sanity.
Gaslighting is most common in dating and marital relationships, although it can also dominate friendships or family members. Toxic people use emotional abuse to exert dominance over others to manipulate friends, family members, and even coworkers.
How does gaslighting work?
Gaslighting is a manipulation tactic that questions your own view of reality. When you are gaslighted, you frequently second-guess yourself, your thoughts, and your statements.
When speaking with the individual who is gaslighting you, you are left confused and wondering if something is wrong with you.
These measures can be bewildering and cause you to doubt your judgement and general mental health. You feel fuzzy and unclear, you’re always apologising, or you know something is wrong but you can’t put your finger on what…
What are the most common phrases used by gaslighters?
“I don’t know what you’re talking about”
This phrase will have you wondering if you’re just paranoid or confused. Often times, it makes us feel as though we are overthinking and misinterpreting the situation. Soon, you begin doubting every warning your gut alerts you to, because the gaslighter is indirectly convincing you that you’re just imagining things.
“Why would you believe them? Do you believe them over me?”
These sneaky manipulators are well aware of your mental wellbeing and the soft spot you have for them. They will never want anyone else getting into your head or feeding you thoughts that may be contradicting their lies.
So they question you, making you believe that every abusive act of theirs is done just to keep you happy…
“Why are you always so angry and dramatic?”
This is the worst trigger when the victim is actually calm, making them either burst out or question the situation. Obviously, your gaslighter uses this chance to their utmost advantage by pinning every blame and fault on you!
These phrases may seem relevant and okay during arguments. But take a moment to analyse what triggered the altercation.
Gaslighters are pathologically dishonest and lie on a regular basis. They will openly lie to you and refuse to compromise or change their stories, even if you call them out or present proof of their lying.
Speak with a trusted friend or family member to see whether they believe your reasoning is as erroneous as your abuser claims.