Congratulations, you’re getting married! We know you’re absolutely excited about planning the wedding – from the dress, to the rings, the bouquet arrangements to the caterers! But in the midst of that special day, it’s important not to forget your marriage is not just about the 3-tier wedding cake, it’s about finding that one person that you can be yourself with, while considering the other important aspects in life like your career, family and more. After all, a wedding lasts only a day, but marriage should last a lifetime. Here are some important factors to consider before you tie the knot.
Everyone’s got a different definition of commitment. You might think that marriage means each person gives 50 percent of their time, love and effort, thus making it a full 100 percent. Before tying the knot, talk about what your relationship means to the both of you to avoid getting into fights. Discuss your ideas of relationship, commitment, love and faithfulness, and find a way to bring out the best or to find a compromise.
Communication is one of the main important key to a successful marriage. One should remember that a heated argument with any harsh elements will never solve a problem. Instead of raising your voices on a disagreement, take a deep breath and speak in a calm manner as you discuss your feelings. Forget the concept of being right or wrong in a marriage. It’s not much of a comedy as you see displayed in television shows. Remember that men also communicate on an entirely different level than women. Men are not one to have brunch just to tell you how much they love you, but they do it through their actions.
If you’ve lived together before you got married, you might probably have discovered a strategy on dividing up chores. But if you haven’t, draft a plan by listing out all the chores that need to be done, and divide up accordingly. You can choose to take turns, but remember that it’s not a disciplinary chart. There is no need to nag if your partner forgets.
Intimacy is an important part of a married couple’s relationship, but sex can’t always guarantee marital intimacy. As you’re already married and prepared to share everything with your partner, it’s okay to openly discuss your sex life in your own home. Discuss how often you’d like to get intimate, or what you hope to change. It helps to make the extra effort so that each party is satisfied.
Money is a big issue and could generate more problems when it isn’t taken seriously. Every couple have different ways of managing their finances. Marriage is all about changing everything you know from ‘mine’ to ‘ours’. Marriage counselor, Dr. Paul Sago suggests that it’s not good to keep separate bank accounts unless you also have a shared one. (Source) Moreover, discuss each other’s spending habits. One might be a big spender, while the other could be frugal. You can either choose to split your expenses evenly, or work out a percentage if your incomes differ.
In most cases, “First comes love, then comes marriage. Then comes baby in a baby carriage”. The topic of having children will soon arise in a marriage, even if you’re both content at the moment. Before you walk down the aisle, make sure that you’re both on the same page about when is the right time to have kids, how many, and talk about your options in case one of you can’t reproduce.
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