Whether we like it or not, friendships come and go. Sometimes, losing a friend can be just as heartbreaking as a breakup. I’m sure that most of us have probably lost touch with a BFF, or severed one or two friendships in our lifetime. It can be cause you’ve moved to another state, or you’ve simply just grown apart. Other times, it can be due to red flags, gaslighting, and just plain toxic behaviour from the other person. Just as with any relationship, it’s a two-way street, and you should not be the only one that’s putting in effort. But if you’ve attempted to communicate with your friend, and there’s still no change in their behaviour, it may be time to let that friendship go. Here are 4 signs it’s time to end a friendship.
They don’t respect your boundaries
“Boundaries” seems to be a very popular term these days, but what does it look like in friendships? And how do you know when someone is disrespecting yours? To give an example, I used to have this one friend who loved to look through my phone whenever we’re hanging out. Despite the many times I told them that I didn’t like it, they did not stop, a.k.a not respecting the boundaries I’d set up. Needless to say, that friend is no longer in my life. That’s why it’s so important to establish boundaries early on in the friendship, and be open and honest about who you are so that you can connect in a healthy way.
They never reach out to you
If you’re the only one that’s asking to hang out, and they respond as if they’re doing you a favor, leave. I used to have this friend who would rarely respond to my texts, not to mention in our friend groupchat. And whenever they did respond, it was never a solid answer, or they would respond with a “I guess we can meet up on Friday, but I have to leave early. And I might be late too.” Sound familiar?
They don’t respect your time
As a person who has no patience, being late is definitely a BIG red flag for me. Not to mention the people who blow you off last minute without any explanation. And no, I’m not talking about the occasional change of plans because their car broke down, or that they got food poisoning. I’m talking about the friend who’s almost never on time, never apologizes for being late, and for the life of them can NEVER confirm plans or just keeps cancelling on you. They don’t deserve your time or energy, so just ditch them.
They’re only your friend when it’s convenient
If they suddenly hit you up after months of non-communication, and they just so happen to be in your city and they need a place to crash, they might be using you! I had a friend that would always want a “girls’ night” whenever they were in my area just so that they could stay at my place for free. How did I know they were using me? They would make plans with other friends for the entire day, even though we were supposed to hang out together. Girls’ night my ASS! You don’t need them in your life, since they’re only ever around when they need something from you.
However, this doesn’t mean that you can’t have ups and downs with your besties. Conflict is inevitable, especially if you’re close to them. But if you feel that you’re not being treated the way you deserve to be treated, you can always try addressing the conflicts with your friends constructively, and if they don’t return the same level of respect and communication, and still continue to cross your boundaries, you know what to do.
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