I’m 22-years-old, and I just got a terrible taste of what infatuation feels like. Hey, I could justify myself – I mean, I am 22, so my hormones are practically all over the place and anything can attract me. It’s funny how I was so determined in my love life to only go for the men I assumed were ideal for me – and yet dis bish has managed to fall for someone so not in my league, and pretty far from my ideal.
The worst part is, after you understood that you had fallen hard for this person, you find out they were playing with you all along. And yet, a part of you still wants that person. That is TOXIC, girlfriend!
Anyways, today’s article will be a little special, as this will be based on my experience – so writing this means a lot to me. I am still healing and trying my level best to get over this pathetic, toxic infatuation – so here are my two cents on how to totally get over it.
What Is Infatuation?
First off – for those of you who may not know, infatuation is defined as a short-lived passion or an overwhelming emotion towards someone or something. Although it says “short-lived”, that “short” period of time is enough to kill you bit by bit.
Infatuation can happen in many ways. For one, it could happen to someone already in a committed relationship. You know those initial stages of love where you’re constantly thinking of that person and you obsess over them? That is a short infatuation you may have. But that’s pretty okay, to be honest, since you guys are already in a relationship. The infatuation that is dangerous is when it is one-sided. Sort of like an unrequited love.
Infatuation can also happen when you are simply attracted towards a person, and you have strong emotions over them – BUT – you very well know that a relationship simply can’t happen for so many reasons. To me, infatuation is just mental torture. It’s even worse when you thought all along that you were leading them on – only to find out that it’s vice versa. And to make things worse, you’ve developed a strong emotion for that person. A strong, but unhealthy emotion. I wouldn’t necessarily say it’s love or true feelings – infatuation to me is a toxic, temporary feeling that just won’t let you live in peace.
Wow, hold on bish – I think I just got played real hard. Danggg! And I thought I was elegant and graceful all along!
Signs Of Infatuation
1. They Are Constantly On Your Mind
Before you go to sleep, that person is constantly running in loops in your mind, and you think about them when you wake up. You eat, sleep and breathe thinking of that person. For what, though? Nobody knows! Being infatuated with someone means that whatever you do, your mind just can’t stop thinking of them, and somehow, the thought of that person makes your heart beat faster.
But don’t be fooled, bish! Your heart is just soft – if your heart goes thump-thump, it doesn’t mean that that person is your one and only.
2. You May Get Overly Jealous
You see, this is how twisted my mind is during this whole infatuation phase. I sort of “like” him, but I don’t wanna be serious with him. However, I would want him to have emotions for me – and seeing him with someone else makes my blood boil. Hold on, am I toxic? Nah, I’m just infatuated with an asshole who won’t leave my mind.
Anyways, being overly jealous even when there’s nothing going on between the both of you can be one of the symptoms of infatuation. And to be honest, jealousy isn’t really a healthy habit and we should all work on it.
3. Somehow, They Are “Perfect”
Remember what I said about my ideal type? Well, the guy that I’m infatuated with is FAR from my ideal type, and guess what? I still managed to view him as perfect. He is far from what I ever wanted, and yet to my eyes, he seems so damned admirable and perfect.
Viewing someone as perfect and developing unhealthy emotions over them is one of the serious signs of infatuation. Being infatuated with someone can make you eliminate their flaws and consider them ethereal. Which, girlfriend, is nonsense.
4. You Basically Become Bipolar
Not that you would actually become bipolar, but you somehow find yourself going through a roller-coaster of emotions. Gurrrl, the fact that I have to see him on most days of the week is insane mental torture. And I go through a rough patch of mood swings. One minute I’m sad, another minute, I’m in infatuated – other times, I may be extremely happy and carefree, and by the end of the day I could be in tears.
Shitty, I know, but that’s how infatuation works. Of course, it could be different for other people – these are just based on my experience.
How To Overcome Infatuation?
Since infatuation is sort of related to your mindset, there are psychological ways you can overcome infatuation. Now, please do bear in mind that this may not work for everyone, and the scenarios that I have listed previously may not apply to everyone as well. So, do take this as a general opinion, and work it however you like in your life based on your scenarios.
1. Avoid Anything Associated With Them
The number one rule when getting over an infatuation is to stop associating yourself with that very person you are attracted to. It could be anything that reminds you of them. Throw them all away, and try not to do things that makes that person appear in your mind.
Keep doing this, till you’ve reached a stable mindset, where looking back at the person or your memories with them, and even their belongings, will not bring back those emotions in your heart.
2. Put Your Focus On Something Else
Infatuation means that that person is constantly in your head. So, if you can shift your focus elsewhere, that will be totes great. Infatuation is sort of like an obsession. So, if you find something else to obsess over, getting over this person should be no probs.
Now, I’m not telling you to jump from one person to another – but if you have a hobby or past time, or even a certain goal that you would like to achieve… these are all fabulous ways to immediately set your focus elsewhere and have you thinking about other things that are WAY MORE IMPORTANT!
3. Reach Out To Someone
One of the hardest things in my infatuation phase is the fact that I’ve had to keep this all to myself for a very long time. Until I couldn’t take it and had to burst out to one of my closest friends. Whenever you go through an unhealthy phase of infatuation, make sure you have a close buddy that you can reach out to.
Trust me darling, having those friends really helped me lots, because they have the power to set you back on track and help you get over the infatuation phase.
4. Get Real About Their Flaws
The one thing that makes you obsess over them is your mind directing your eyes away from their flaws. So, it’s time we look at EVERY negative thing that that mother-pucker has that can possibly be a turn off. Trust me, babe, once I set my mind on this, the amount of disgust I felt for allowing myself to even fall for someone like that? Ewww! Like, what in the actual fvck was I thinking?
5. Accepting The Truth
The healthiest way is to accept it all. Accept the fact that you have fallen for them, accept the fact that they don’t feel the same way, and accept whatever you felt or are currently feeling towards them. Accept that these emotions are indeed one-sided, and accept the fact that none of this is ever going to happen.
Accepting the hardest parts of your life is the best way to move on and have a healthy outlook on life. Plus, one-sided feelings are actually quite fun. I mean, nobody knows you like that person, and you can secretly just go through every single one of your emotions.
This is numero uno – self-respect. Always respect yourself and your emotions; don’t give anybody the power to control you. Most importantly, do not give power to the person you are infatuated with, to play with your feelings. Your feelings are precious and you should know how to take care of them.
And there ya have it – simple psychological ways you can get over an infatuation. Please do keep in mind that infatuation can be positive and negative, and this article only addresses unhealthy infatuation.
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