Relationships have always been challenging, but I believe that they are even more difficult to sustain and invest in now than ever before. Modern relationships just keep getting more difficult to maintain – and that’s coming from a girl who’s not even in a relationship. I don’t know how people from past generations dealt with relationships, but in this day and age, relationships are dying out.
If you have no clue what I’m babbling on about, here are 5 reasons why modern partnerships get killed off so easily.
Starting Off On The Wrong Foot
More often than not, people actually have this mindset of ‘dating to marry’ and we’re not saying it’s bad. But it makes you ignore or turn a blind eye to red flags. ‘Dating to marry’ effectively forces you to settle for that person rather than evaluating their personality and attitude to see whether they are long-term partner material.
We live in a time when we subconsciously compete with one another and rush into things merely to feel like we have something to prove or show the world. Relationships should not be viewed as a competition; rather, they should be viewed as an additional aspect of your life. The healthiest relationship you can have is with yourself, which you may achieve by cultivating and expanding your self-love.
The more love you have for yourself, the easier it is to navigate a relationship.
With social media being an integral part of the lives of many youth, we have a tendency to judge things based on their superficial worth, particularly individuals. Being superficial in a relationship is not only harmful in and of itself, it creates this false perception of someone being too perfect, with absolutely no flaws. Physical attraction is, without a doubt, a terrific place to start looking for, or even starting a relationship. But what truly matters is the personality, morals, ethics and attitude of an individual that could make a relationship blossom or go BOOM.
Red Light, Green Light
Maintaining a good and healthy long-term relationship necessitates discussing and addressing topics that both of you find unsettling. We can’t simply ignore our partner’s misguided behaviour, because then, you’re choosing a future where that behaviour will become more destructive and damaging – not only to you but to them as well. Unresolved concerns that could have been resolved in a matter of days can wreak havoc on a relationship for years.
Creating a safe and open space to talk about toxic behaviours will help to strengthen the relationship and give your partner enough time to reflect and change their attitudes – if you want to keep the relationship going. After all, it’s their decision whether or not they want to change and invest in the relationship.
You First, Me Second
Cultivating self-love means to always put yourself first before others, which includes your partner. There’s nobody more important than you to show how much you love yourself. If you are already showering your lover with more love and neglecting yourself, that relationship is going nowhere but downhill.
Your primary focus should be on yourself, your goals, your life, and your career. Similarly, your partner’s top priority should be about them. If your goals are the same and you’re on the same page, you won’t have any trouble building your relationship.
Again, with social media being a big part of our lives, it’s very easy to compare relationships online to ours. People use social media to make their relationships appear flawless – making flawed and genuine relationships seem worthless.
Social media shouldn’t be a guide for you to follow and navigate your relationship. It’s impossible to tell a successful relationship over a picture on Instagram or a 15-second story. Expecting perfection from a relationship that you see online; and comparing your own relationship to others are two of the quickest ways to be dissatisfied and start nit-picking at flaws in the relationship – which then ultimately kills it.
More on relationship advice? Read these:
It Won’t Pan Out: 4 Signs You’re Dating A Peter Pan And Should SPLIT, Gurrrl!
Being Extra About Your Boo’s Exes: What’s Retroactive Jealousy (And Why’s It So Harmful?)