When we’ve been wronged by someone, the first thing we anticipate from them is an apology. It’s a natural human reaction after offending or hurting someone, and it demonstrates remorse when someone apologizes. However, there are times when they do not apologize and simply expect you to forgive them. OR they apologize in their own manner, but never truly say “I’m sorry” to you, banking on your forgiveness and forgetfulness.
It’s 2022 and we say it’s time that we stop letting people trample over us for something that we know they should feel sorry about. But we can’t just force people to say “I’m sorry” when it’s not genuine, because their sincerity is what drives us to forgive them. Thus, we just have to forgive them even when they don’t apologize – but that doesn’t mean we should excuse their actions.
Plus, it’s never healthy to harbour resentment in your heart – so, here are 4 ways to forgive someone despite the lack of apology.
It’s Okay To Not Be Okay
When you feel insulted, never give in and say “it’s alright.” You’re in pain, and the last thing you should do is suppress your emotions. Allow yourself to be swamped by the sorrow of what they’ve done. It’s not acceptable to just dismiss their actions just because they failed to properly apologize.
Extinguish The Gaslight
Never let them convince you that it’s all in your mind or that you’re overly sensitive. Nobody should tell you that your sentiments and emotions are invalid, not even your family, friends, or significant other. When you’re in pain, you’re in pain – case closed. Don’t let their remarks sway your feelings or make you believe what they’ve done is even remotely appropriate.
If you wish to know more about being gaslighted, here are some articles for your reference:
Passing Gas: Clear And Scary Signs That You’re Being Gaslighted
Step On That Gas Pedal And Speed AWAY From These 4 Gaslighting Phrases
Shut That Door
Drawing some boundaries is one approach to protecting yourself from being mistreated. Restricting people’s access to you is all part of holding them accountable. It also gives them a hint that they may have offended you in some manner, and you don’t want to be associated with them. And don’t, we repeat, DO NOT feel bad about establishing those boundaries.
You Know Your Story
At the end of the day, only you know what transpired in the dispute. You already know what you went through, and you don’t need their confirmation or acknowledgment. All that counts is that you have your own version of what happened. You don’t even need their apology if you hold firm to your convictions.
Finally, remember that forgiving people should not rest on their ability – or in this case, inability – to apologize. Willing to forgive them means you don’t have to live with the consequences of their behaviour. It signifies you recognizing them as human beings who have acted in accordance with their own degree of immaturity and cognizance. Your capacity to discern this aids you in reducing their hold over you and will ultimately lead you to forgiveness.
More on mental health? Read these:
Alive And Kicking: 6 Signs That You Are Doing Better Than You Think You Are
