It’s a good, admirable practice to constantly put others first and be selfless as giving is always better than receiving, so we’ve been taught. But, in doing all of this for others, what about yourself? Your feelings and desires matter too, so why is it that we feel guilty about taking a step back and prioritising our own needs?
There are those amongst us who know being selfish doesn’t have to involve a negative connotation, and then comes others who religiously sacrifice and give up their happiness at the expense of people they care about. Well, it’s okay, and essential for your mental health and wellbeing, to be selfish once in a while. Look out for yourself, and it’ll do you wonders.
Here are 11 instances it’s alright to be a wee bit selfish:
1. During a date – He asked you out, so let him foot the bill. Better yet, skip the fake ‘reach-in’ for your purse nonsense. You also should have no qualms about ordering that expensive steak on the menu simply because you love a good slab o’ meat. Allow him to treat you, because you deserve it.
2. When you need to go offline – You owe no one any obligation to answer every phone call or reply to every text message the second they come in. Give yourself time to be mentally and emotionally prepared to respond, if need be, and don’t feel bad when you need to get off the grid to let loose and recharge.
3. Workplace conundrums – It’s so easy to dumb down your own talent and competency just to fit in, or opt for cooperation because you’re a people pleaser, but acting in your own self-interest can earn you leadership recognition and perceived dominance. Do what the situation calls for, but always be realistic about it.
4. In a dead-end relationship – Whether it’s a friendship or relationship, it’s really okay to end it if it’s no longer serving you, or worse, causing you distress. You probably still have your SO’s best interest at heart because you don’t want to hurt him, but you’d wind up wounding yourself in the end. Sometimes, ending a new chapter is necessary for growth.
5. Between the sheets – Let him know what you like and what gives you the most pleasure because let’s be real; you deserve to be satisfied too. It’s empowering, for both you and your partner, to be able to give love and receive it in return. And uhh, if he forgets or intentionally neglects your orgasms, banish him.
6. When you need help – Don’t be ashamed or afraid to ask for help when you need it, even though you may feel it brings others inconvenience, or wastes their time. No man is an island, and if you need a crowd to get the job done, just reach out. You can’t accomplish everything on your own.
7. In a one-sided friendship – You’d drive miles on end to get to your friend when she needs something or is feeling mopey, but has she ever done the same for you? These people have no understanding of the give-take philosophy whatsoever, and will continue to mooch until you stop giving in. Protect yourself and for once, take a stand.
8. Going on vacations – Everyone needs a vacation once in a while, at least as a temporary relief to life’s predicaments and daily stresses. Hence, you should never feel guilty for taking the time off that you deserve. You know you’ve worked hard all this time, so allow yourself to live a little. There are other coworkers that can hold the fort down at work.
9. When you need alone time – Being around people can be a lot of fun, but in excess, it can be extremely draining to the soul. That’s when you need to spend time with yourself and do what you have to do to regenerate. Do not feel obligated to drag yourself out of the house to catch up with friends, or attend that party when you’re not feeling it.
10. After working hours – Work is work, but me time is me time, and besides, they’re labelled after working hours for a reason. If a client or coworker contacts you after hours pertaining to work, it’s not a must for you to answer. Everyone needs a break, and haven’t you heard? People actually work themselves to death and you don’t want that to happen.
11. Celebrating your successes – Everyone has different aspirations and dreams, and every milestone, whether big or small, is a significant achievement, so don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You should be proud even if others may not comprehend. Don’t feel guilty for treating yourself to something nice for a success you’ve worked your ass off for.