Everything that goes on in the world revolves around one thing – money. They say you can’t buy happiness with money, but with a good bunch of coins you can ensure a comfortable life for yourself and your family (if you have one, that is). But let’s talk money matters in romantic situation – is it important to have a good deal of money to be in a relationship?
These days, there are women who earn just as much money as the guy standing next to her, if not more. Meritocracy plays a role in how much money you make, but what happens when you fall in love with a man without a job?
Maggie (not her real name) says that her ex-boyfriend was unemployed when they dated. Being a foreigner, he had trouble looking out for a job because of his visa. “He came from a good wealthy background and worked hard before he came here. He had plans to start up a business, but it never went through because of visa. Eventually he just lazed around and expected me to pay for everything”.
Maggie’s problem is one of the many examples of finance being a burden to some people in a relationship.
When it comes to marriage, financial conflict can predict divorce better than anything else in this world. When asked if money was easier to talk about that sex with her partner, Maggie says it’s more difficult.
“Talking about money makes people feel wounded, and who wouldn’t be? Money is the one thing that keeps people driven in an economic world and there’s a sense of pride when you know you’re contributing to it. When you don’t, it makes it hard for people to adjust,” said Maggie.
“Money in a relationship always involves a power struggle,” says Maggie.
But what about women who only date someone because they’re wealthy? Or men, even. Anna (not her real name) admitted to dating wealthier men despite in her early 20s.
“There’s a difference between dating and falling in love with wealthy men. When you go out with a wealthy guy because of his status, you know for a fact that you don’t love that person for who he really is. You only ‘love’ him because he gives you the convenience of buying the things you’d never afford in a million years.
“Being in love with a wealthy man can be tough, however. Sometimes there’s that power struggle where you both argue over who has more control about situations based on their monthly pay check. And then there’s the conflict of whether the man’s trying to buy your with his wad of cash”.
Anna is now engaged to a software developer who earns a comfortable income. She, a banker, earns just enough to consider herself successful. “I was never a gold-digger to begin with. I never dated wealthy men because I wanted someone to give me luxury. When you fall in love with a man who is just successful as you are, it becomes a bonus in life. Not the money, but the mutual respect you both have for each other,” she explains.
Despite having dated a “bum” as she calls her former lover, Maggie still thinks financial status matters. “It’s not what you earn – What matters is the ability to talk about the money when money matters get serious. Even if you don’t have a job, you can still contribute. If I buy the groceries, you roast the beef“, she jokes.
In reality, financial status does matter when relationships are involved. You could be madly in love with someone, but remember that when you get serious, you’re joining your financial statuses together – bad credit, debt, etc. And don’t forget – it affects you.
What do you think about financial status in a relationship? Share your thoughts with us in the comments section below.