Dear Ms. Lipstiq
I’ve been officially married for two years now, and before this I was courting my husband for four years. All was perfect and dandy until we officially got married. The problem mainly revolves around his parents. I think they hate me! I’ve only started to feel this during the second year of our marriage. For example, his mother would sarcastically say at dinners, all my ‘wife issues’ – for example, she would say things like I don’t clean up properly, I focus on work too much and I have no priorities as a wife. My husband and I don’t have kids yet – because we are focusing on our careers, and I think she isn’t happy with that. When my husband leaves me alone with his parents, I can just feel the pure tension between everything. While we were dating, everything was fine – his parents were the least of our problems. But now, as they’ve turned in the in-laws, they have become the worst of my problems. I don’t know how to approach them without offending them, but it’s really becoming a little out of hand. My husband knows that it’s an issue, but he isn’t really that helpful either. He says he doesn’t know how to approach them without offending the.
What you’re going through is a classic problem that all women face when they get into marriages – some get it good, some just… aren’t as lucky. But there are definitely ways to over come this issue, but you will definitely need the help and support from your husband – after all, it is his parents, so they will listen to him better. Ask him to try and ask his parents what they don’t like about you, or what issues they have against you – but this has to be done in a very subtle manner. There is no need to bombard them with accusations. As for you, as much as it might suck to this, you have to suck up to them. Randomly buy his mother gifts (things that you know she’ll like) and just shower them with love no matter how much it annoys. Being the bigger person in the situation will make them notice something one way or another. None the less, you are married to your husband, not your in-laws, so don’t worry. There will be a way to fight this annoyance you’re going through. Just remember, you’re the bigger person. But ofcourse, if it does get out of hand, talk to them straight up – you’re all adults at the end of the day.