What’s your biggest fear when you got married? Would you be surprised if we told you that some women were actually afraid of possibly fighting with their mother-in-law?
The conflict of interest between a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law are one of the reasons why they can hardly get along. The Time published an article in 2008 stating that researches have found that vulnerability is one the main reasons they can’t get along with each another. A mother’s fear of losing her value in a family and a daughter’s fear of losing her husband to his mum.
It can be a little hard for you to control your emotions at first but if you put enough effort into the relationship, then things may work out for you. Here are a few simple steps which you can take so that your mother-in-law would know her boundaries and you would be able to avoid any misunderstandings between the both of you.
1) Analyse her
This may take awhile but the sooner you get your answers, the better. The best way to avoid misunderstandings is by understanding what she likes and dislikes. Try your best to avoid things which she dislikes as it’s quite impossible for her to change her old habits after all these years. For instance, maybe she is very particular about the way her linen is folded. Try to do it her way and if you can’t then let her do it.
2) Avoid getting jealous
Some ladies find it hard to accept the fact that their husbands are close to their mother. The more you allow yourself to feel jealous, it will be harder for you to get along with your mother-in-law. Despite everything, at the end of the day, he is still your husband. Even if he is close to his mum, it doesn’t mean that he needs to agree with her about everything. The moment you allow that feeling of jealousy leave you, that is when you would probably start to understand her better. Give her a chance and try your best to make her feel secured as well.
3) Stand firm with your decision
Standing firm with your decision when it comes to certain things are important so that your mother-in-law would know that these are the areas which she isn’t supposed to interfere with. Common areas which mother-in-laws feel like they need to have the last say in are when it comes to disciplining your kids, house rules, etc.
4) Never fight with your spouse in front of her
Misunderstandings between spouses may happen especially if things are extremely tensed up at work and at home. However bad the situation is, avoid arguing with your husband in front of your mother-in-law. May not sound practical especially if you’re staying in the same house but try going out somewhere to express your feelings. You certainly don’t want her to hear your arguments and feed your husband with different ideas when you’re not around.
5) Avoid revealing personal problems to her
Avoid revealing your personal issues to your mother-in-law especially if you’re not having a good relationship with her. If you’re thinking of revealing things which you’ve kept a secret from your husband, then that must be a terrible mistake which you’re making. The last thing which you would want is for her to twist your words and to convey a completely different message to your husband.