You don’t have to tell me twice about how difficult dating is in this day and age. With how complicated and tricky it is navigating the dating game, we may as well all be single and eternally alone. Plus, there is so much new dating lingo to learn, such as love bomb, ghosting, a “nice guy”, Peter Pan, and so on, that it demotivates us from even trying to find love.
If these issues don’t intimidate you enough, there’s one more phrase to learn: breadcrumbing. We’ve already given a detailed description and signs of breadcrumbing, but here’s a quick recap:
Breadcrumbing is when someone you’re interested in leads you on by dropping little signs of interest in you by giving you an unexpected romantic and flirtatious text, phone call, or social media contact throughout the early stages of dating. Which then leads you to dates, arranged by them, that typically do not bring about any ‘result’. So, basically, they’re hooking you with bait only to completely ignore you and not reel in the fishing line.
Also, if you give them even the slightest hint that you’re no longer interested in them, they’ll start pursuing you more intently, until you’ve eaten up all the crumbs they’ve left behind till you’ll realize they’re no longer there – and the cycles continue.
Breadcrumbers are like the wicked witch from Hansel and Gretel, and you, – you guessed it – are the children that gobble up all the candy. So now you’re asking, “How can I wipe the dirty crumbs away?” There are a few approaches to dealing with someone who is breadcrumbing you, and we’re here to share exactly 3 ways you can respond to it so you can get rid of the crumbs for good.
Take The Lead
Vague, half-formed plans that eventually lead to nothing are a prevalent kind of breadcrumb. They’d make vague plans to see you, but never follow through with details like time and location. If you want to take things a step further than virtual, we propose that you take the lead by proposing a location for your date.
Now the ball is in their court, and if they don’t want to meet or go on a date with you, they’ll most likely avoid agreeing to a time or cancel at the last minute, which is a good sign that you shouldn’t waste any more time and effort with them.
Call Them Out
Which leads us to our next point: last minute cancellation plans. It’s infuriating to be stood up at the last minute, especially when you’ve been looking forward to it, or had rescheduled your previous engagements for that specific occasion. It’s understandable to be irritated when someone you planned to meet cancels on you, especially if they’ve done it before with flimsy explanations – which indicates that they’re breadcrumbing you.
One way to deal with this is to call them out on their constant cancellations. Tell them you won’t accept their pathetic reasons and wait for them to squirm. Make it perfectly obvious that if they want to see you, they must do it on their own time. Otherwise, go about your business.
No More BS
Being led on sucks, especially if you’re serious about a relationship. When someone leads you on without laying a basis for what they’re searching for, you’re wasting your time. What’s worse is if they lie to you, effectively breadcrumbing you so they can boost their ego when they know you’re available if they want you.
One can only take so much, and if you’ve had enough of being breadcrumbed, simply call them out on it. It demonstrates that you are aware of their deceptive intentions and that they can no longer mislead you. The conversation may progress to a more in-depth discussion of why they’re breadcrumbing you (which is still wrong), or it may simply cease the connection, saving you time.
The Bottom Line
Whether it’s a love relationship or simply a fling, always know what you’re looking for. Allow no breadcrumber to join your narrative and dictate to you how to proceed with the connection. Furthermore, never, and we mean NEVER, wait for anybody. Allow them to chase you instead of you chasing them.
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