Straight up, ladies – please get out of the delusional life you’ve tangled yourself in. Come out of the Netflix rom-com movies daydream that there’s a ‘perfect’ partner out there for you, while you brush away what could be your true happiness. If you’re waiting for a Christian Grey to sweep you away in a helicopter to his bachelor pad where you are pampered and showered with overflowing love, I’d like to give you a gentle pinch to make you wake up and face reality.
Life is nothing remotely identical to Hallmark movies – where a handsome hunk miraculously meets a gorgeous girl and they end up madly in love despite the soft plot twist which tests their relationship. We are living in a society where we are judged on everything we do; skin colour matters more than humanity, gender bias and inequality are still rampant, racial tension is still “a thing”, and budding disparities in relationships lead straight to separation – with compromise not being an option for couples, because apparently, there are many fish in the sea. Or so you think.
Despite all this, we are quick to involve our deepest and purest emotions in a world where they are not respected or valued – social media. Do you not find it weird when someone says they found their ‘soul mate’……. on social media? Of course, your late night correspondence, full of emojis, gifs and lengthy sugar-coated words, give you all the confidence to confide in them. But girls, don’t be foolish to give your precious self to unworthy chats which eventually lead to temporary hook-ups and one-night-stands. Next thing you know, he has changed his identity and started the ball rolling with another victim – all for pleasure’s sake. If you’re new to all this and could easily get carried away with social media ‘love scams’, then I highly recommend you watch ‘The Tinder Swindler’ on Netflix. It’s a complete eye-opener.
Let’s move on to you ladies who have found partners you thought were your ‘soul mates’ but have left you second guessing things now. One word for you – DON’T. If you have a great partner who supports you with anything you need, makes sacrifices to ensure your relationship flourishes, loves you for who you are, and misses you during your absence, then don’t push him away, thinking the grass is greener on the other side, just because he may fall short of your ‘perfect’ guy criteria. He may not be as good-looking as you expected him to be, or have the hot-bod to drool over, or have a fat bank balance – but he is everything that a healthy, sustaining and happy relationship personifies.
They may have qualities that trigger you, but they also have qualities that make you say, “I’m blessed”. Before harshly judging your partner and coming up with bullet points as to why-my-partner-is-so-goddamn-annoying, perform an honest self-check first. You too are not perfect because, honestly, there are no perfect human beings in this world. We all are crafted to have imperfections, and that’s completely fine. Acknowledging the imperfections that you and your partner share, and finding a way to work around them, is what’s called a healthy relationship. You may find someone else that fits the missing piece your partner can’t fill, but that same someone has a missing piece that your partner has. Think about that.
In today’s age, we easily get bored and have short attention spans. We get bored with our partners easily, and tend to seek joy elsewhere. Let me tell you, that’s all temporary – simply to gratify your desires that are short-lived. We tend to do anything to keep our excitement and passion at their peak – without realizing the underlying damage this causes. You put your family, partner, career and even self-esteem at stake when you head out to seek material or physical pleasures to reignite your mundane emotions.
Find happiness in the choices you make in your life. They are gifted to you for a reason. Your partner is introduced in your life for a reason – to complete you, to fill the missing gaps, and also so that you grow to be a better version of yourself. People that are sent to your life play a vital role in pivoting your life’s journey. Some may seem the complete opposite to your character, but they are meant to be such to improve your life, even if you dislike it at the beginning. When you reach a level you never thought you could ever reach, you’ll look back and thank God and the universe for leading you on the right path.
So, ladies, it’s time to put forward the gratitude card and appreciate the people who are already in your life – no matter how imperfect they may look compared to the paid actors who play the role of the ‘perfect man’ on the idiot box. Count your blessings. Find the perfection in every imperfection you see in your partner, and keep the motivation going. Remember, the grass is NEVER greener on the other side. 🙂
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