Gaslighting. We’ve all heard of it and we might have even been gaslighted once in our life. For those who don’t know what it means, gaslighting is when your partner emotionally and mentally abuses you through manipulation. It comes to a certain point where they would invalidate your feelings and experiences in order to assert dominance (not in a Christian Grey way, of course) in your relationship.
There are certain phrases that abusers tend to use to gaslight their partners. However, just in case you are not familiar with any of them, here are four common gaslight phrases to know so that you can instantly leave a toxic relationship.
“I Have No Clue What You’re Talking About”
Allow me to let you in on a secret: they most certainly know what you are talking about. Gaslighters will do their best to either deny or completely falsify whatever happened that caused you distress at their hands. Their end goal is to plant a seed of doubt in your head and basically make you second guess yourself on the entire situation. Never fall for it and always trust your instincts.
“Why Are You So Sensitive/Over-Dramatic?”
Immediate red flag if you happen to hear this right out of your partner’s mouth. If a gaslighter were to utter these words to you, it would instantly diminish and invalidate your feelings in a heartbeat. Also, it’s a way for them to escape from being questioned a lot, so what they would do is say that you’re “too sensitive” and are “blowing things out of proportion”. Hence, that should be your cue to get away from them.
“So You Believe Them More Than Me?”
There is nothing more that a gaslighter hates than you being dependent on other people more than them. It drives them up the wall when other people agree with your thoughts and feelings, because then the seed that they’ve planted in your head would disintegrate. They only want you to trust them and completely disregard others, including your family and friends. Run while you can.
“Everyone Else Thinks You’re Acting Completely Crazy”
To utterly invalidate their partners’ feelings, gaslighters, ultimately, want to make them think they are crazy. That seed of doubt would instantly sprout the moment you question your own sanity. This is the ultimate goal for gaslighters in order for them to grasp their partner tightly and make sure that they depend on them always. FYI, you’re never crazy and don’t let anybody make you think otherwise.
Although these phrases do help in detecting what is considered to be gaslighting, what matters is the message and tone of your partner. Good communication is always key in maintaining a healthy relationship. Also, your experiences, feelings and thoughts are always valid. Nobody can take that away from you, not even your partner.
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