Buckle up, fellow introverts, coz ’tis the season to be around people.
The holiday season can be especially hard on us introverts who often prefer to recharge during quiet down time and would probably prefer in-depth conversations with old friends as opposed to small-talk with new acquaintances. With the amount of office parties, holiday parties and cocktail parties piling up, we’re almost ready to dive under the covers and hibernate until mid January.
However, as much as you feel obliged to attend these parties, it’s good to note that if you REALLY don’t want to go to a party, just don’t go! You should not feel obliged to attend something that may potentially stress you out and cause you more discomfort.
But on the off chance that you do decide to attend a party, here’s a little survival guide to make the experience a little more pleasurable:
Be yourself – Introverts tend to be good listeners, and that’s great! A party doesn’t really have to be about trying to impress people with your almost non-existant charisma. You could casually chat up a fellow guest, circulate around the room and listen. As quite the introvert, my usual strategy is to sit by myself and inevitably, somebody (usually an extrovert) will make their way over to me and we’ll start chatting. Anti-social problem solved.
Pack up some alone time – Most introverts get their energy from quiet alone time as group socializing are usually draining. Experts suggest that you “store up some solitude” in the days before the party. You can meditate, read, or simply so whatever you please and enjoy your own company. Taking additional time away from the mental clutter of electronics could also help quiet down the noise in your head.
Dress comfortably – Based on personal experiences (and I have a few), nothing makes you feel more in the spotlight or stressed out than dressing uncomfortably. Be it a pair of pants or a dress you keep having to yank around to stay in place, skip it. Keep your outfit simple and classy, comfortable, and most importantly, feel more confident.
Embrace the small talk – When at a party, you’re just gonna have to accept that small talk is inevitable. SO you might as well be prepared to receive it! List out a few questions like “Do you have plans for the holidays?” or “Are you a fan of New Year’s resolutions?”, y’know, something along those lines. Reflective small talk often works during the holidays so you might even find yourself actually enjoying it!
Volunteer to help – If having a purpose makes you feel comfortable, consider asking the host or hostess if you can help. Taking photos, greeting people at the door or helping out with drinks are great ways to join in the festivities. Plus, it’s always an added bonus to the host when a guest is super helpful.
Give yourself a time limit – Be honest with yourself and give yourself a time limit as to how much party time you can handle without getting stressed or exhausted. You can even give your host or hostess a head’s up in case you feel like you can’t handle more than an hour. It’s only polite.
Bring a plus one – Bringing a plus one can be quite a good strategy, especially if that person is more sociable than you. He or she can provide cover, create points of entry into conversations and always be someone you can talk to if you don’t feel like making new friends. But don’t latch on too much, you wouldn’t want to seem too dependent. Also, be sure to ask the host or hostess if it’s okay to bring a plus one.
Take breaks – The bathroom is every introvert’s best friend. If you feel like the crowd is getting a little much for your liking, take 5 and catch some time for yourself. Going outside for some fresh air works too.
Don’t take things personally – As alcohol intake goes up, inhibitions come down. And that means benching filters and letting uninhibited opinions take charge for many. So, if you find yourself in a highly-charged conversation, remember to not take offense and do your best to see the humour in the situation. Just reach for more spiked eggnog.
Consider hosting – This may seem a little like feeding yourself to the wolves for someone who gets drained from social events. But as mentioned earlier, giving yourself a purpose (serving food, pouring drinks, etc.) develops built in breaks from all the chit-chat. Just be sure to set a designated ending time so guests know when it’s time to head home or an after party.
Here’s to the most extroverted time of the year.
