Every other day, there seems to be a breaking story about a famous celebrity getting caught cheating. First, it was John Mulaney, then Adam Levine, and more recently, Ned Fulmer from The Try Guys. Cheating on a partner will almost always end a relationship. This is because one of the worst things about cheating is the breach of trust, which is essential for any relationship. More often than not, cheating doesn’t just end after one fling, especially when the cheaters are married and have a family of their own. So what is with the phenomenon of committed “wife-guys” cheating on their spouses? And WHY did they do it? Here are a couple of reasons that a person may cheat on their partner.
Low Self-esteem
While many people would go for the “you don’t give me enough attention” route to explain their behavior, it’s not that simple. The truth is, people who cheat often have low self-esteem. Despite the many consequences of cheating, some people still choose to cheat to boost their own ego and self-esteem. And receiving validation from someone new is an easy way to make them feel complete. Low self-esteem can be due to past relationships, or childhood trauma.
Commitment Issues
The thing about commitment is that it doesn’t mean the same thing to everyone, so it isn’t uncommon that two people in a relationship have very different ideas about the relationship’s status (casual, open, exclusive, etc.) Commitment issues can stem from many things – they could be attachment issues (most often, people with avoidant attachment styles, read about it here), self-sabotage, refusal to work on key issues, or feeling like you’re not with the right partner.
Lack Of Sexual Connection
The reality is, it’s easy to get lazy about sex once you’ve been with a person for a long time. You already know the ins and outs of each other, so you start to get complacent about your intimate life. This is when one or both partners’ need for intimacy goes unmet. Many choose to stay in the relationship, hoping that things will improve. But sometimes, these unmet sexual needs can lead to frustration, so they might seek to fulfill these needs from someone outside of the relationship. This can happen when partners have different sex drives, or when both partners spend too much time away from home.
Falling Out Of Love
Of all the reasons for cheating, this is the most painful and common. As heartbreaking as it can be, some relationships have expiration dates. This could be due to a lack of emotional connection with your partner. Studies show that only 7% of cheating women and 8% of cheating men cheated due to sexual dissatisfaction alone. The vast majority cheated either because of a lack of emotional connection in the relationship or a combination of emotional and sexual connection. Sometimes, cheating is easier than admitting that your relationship really is over.
Out Of Anger/ Revenge
Some people cheat because they’ve fallen out of love, some do it to boost their own ego, while some do it out of anger. For some, cheating is seen as a way to punish a partner or to enact revenge. Maybe you just discovered your partner cheated on you, and you want them to go through the same thing, so they could understand the pain they caused you. It can also be due to frustration towards your partner when they don’t understand you or your needs, being absent in the relationship, or unresolved arguments. Regardless of the cause, anger is a powerful motivator for someone to commit infidelity.
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