F-R-I-E-N-D-S – that’s how you f*cking spell friends! Indeed, friends are some of the incredible creatures that we surround ourselves with, apart from our families and pets. A bunch of wholesome people who are always there for us. They know what to do when we’re down and they’ve always got our back. I, personally, have a very small group of friends – well, “group” is an overstatement, because it’s only like, 5 people. But I like it that way. The smaller your circle is, the happier and healthier you are.
Then, there are people who have bigger circles of friends, and when I say ‘big’ I mean they know the whole world. That may be a little tough to keep up with, because you’re dealing with a lot of different characters, some of whom they might not even get along with. Let’s be honest – we all have that one friend we wish we never knew.
Sometimes, we tend to ignore signs until we really can’t tolerate those “friends” anymore. And then comes the struggle of getting out of that friendship. So, to make it easy, I’ve gathered a list of red flags you MUST look out for when meeting new companions, or even to bust that shady bish who’s already clinging to your a$$.
1. The Gum Stealer
Before we get into anything serious, the prime rule is to never trust the one who takes your gum. Get your own chewing gum, people! Sure, once or twice is okay. But then it slowly escalates to them asking for a piece each time you take out a packet of chewing gum. HELL NAH! Inappropriate. I say ditch that friend!
Now, we’ll look at more serious signs.
2. The Calculator
We all have a friend who acts like an accountant, and this B will constantly keep score of every single thing. If her calculations don’t add up, you’ll start seeing the worst side of her. I’m talking about that bish who will not spend a single cent on you or your group of friends. And, if she ever does, she’ll list out everyone’s share and the very next day, she’ll start being a debt collector.
I mean, you don’t necessarily have to spend money on your friends, but every now and then, a sincere treat won’t hurt. So, if you have that calculator stuck to you, bid them farewell and run.
3. I Need You, I Need You Not…
This one is a lil haunting, because almost everyone has come across that “friend” who needs you, but also manages to live without you. When they feel down and need a shoulder to cry on, you’re the first person they come running too. But as soon as they feel great, they then have a different group of friends to hang out with. And then the cycle repeats. You’re only needed for a moment to repair their broken heart and once you mend it, you are no longer remembered.
Darling, you DO NOT need these types of creatures circling around you! The next time they come to you for solace, show them you have better things to do in life than to sit and hear their boring stories.
4. The Drama Queen
Ah yes! The one that never got invited to the Oscars. I wonder why. No, seriously though, this is the type that manages to make a big deal out of anything and everything. Have you ever had those moments when you and your group of friends go out for lunch, but everyone’s peace is destroyed when this person joins in. That’s the one, honey! That toxic bish will make herself the centre of attention and she basically controls everyone around her with her emotions.
5. The Freeloader
Goshh! I hate this one the most. Okay, listen up – I’m in no way a calculating person, but sometimes, I wish people were more considerate when it comes to chipping in. I have a “friend” who I recently met who will not provide her share of money when everyone else is clearly chipping in theirs. Have some manners, will ya? Nobody said it’s free, honey, so BISH BETTER HAVE MA MONEY!
If you have a freeloader in your circle of friends, kick them out, or else you’ll be disappointed each time you go out with them.
6. The Guilt Trip Expert
The only people who have guilt tripping powers are Asian mums… and that one acquaintance who managed to get ahold of that power. This person has loads of expectations for you to follow in order to be their friend, and if you do not meet those expectations, they will guilt trip the hell out of you. So bad till you might even start believing that it really is your fault.
These ones are dangerous, so you should stay away from them by all means.
7. The Snakes
After so many fallings out and heartbreaking friendships, I have come to believe that there really is no such thing as a peaceful one, and there are always snakes around. Be it in your circle of friends or even outside, these are the types that will gossip about you to your other friends and eventually create a distance between all of you. The worse part is, they somehow manage to make all of you believe that they are really a good person.
8. No Boundaries Friend
I get it – you guys are friends, but that doesn’t give them the permission to step over your boundaries. Boundaries are boundaries, and they should be respected by everyone, regardless of your status in that person’s life. So, if you have a confidante who never seems to understand or even respect your boundaries, it’s time you confront them and let them know.
9. The Unsupportive One
There’s that one friend who never seems to understand your goals. And that’s totally fine. No one is obliged to understand what everyone else wants. But they should certainly respect whatever it is that you want to achieve. Nobody’s goals are worth laughing at, no matter how bizarre they may be. This type of friend doesn’t respect your goals and is never supportive. The last thing we need is a “friend” who is shitting on our goals, cause that’s not what a friend is supposed to do. So, the next time they look down on you, tell them to f*ck off! We don’t need that negative energy around, baby!
So, there ya go peeps. If you know someone who fits any of the descriptions above, save yourself!
More on relationships? Read these: