Ever looked at your boyfriend and wonder what he is not telling you? You know there are things you won’t tell him. His best friend is better looking than him. You find his sister annoying. You think he looks silly when he wears a cap to the pub. Yes, there are things he won’t tell you. Here are the few they dared to reveal. Anything more than this would be breaking the brotherhood legacy.
Those pants don’t make your ass look big. That fat makes your ass look big.
Yes girls, if you think that pants make you look fat, you probably are. If you are asking just to fish for compliments, once every 6 months is sufficient. Anything more than that, don’t blame your man if he agrees “Yes honey, i see where you coming from. Maybe it is time to look at XL clothes” Burn baby, burn.
When you ask him what he’s thinking all the time, he figures ‘nothing’ is a safer response than ‘your best friend’s breasts’.
It is their nature. Don’t blame them. If they are not noticing assets , yours might have gone under the radar too. If they are not betting for the other team, chances are they will ogle around, especially if your girlfriends are as good looking as you. It is best left unsaid, because we foresee a bloodbath should he say ” Damn, that is some rack!” Case, closed!
Your mum’s cooking, it isn’t that great.
So you run down squealing to tell your mum he is coming over for dinner on the weekend. You proceed to tell your mum how he “lurrvessss” her sotong sambal and it should definitely be on the menu. Your man arrives and you go on and on how “Mummy made your favourite dish, isn’t she the best cook in the universe!”. He nods, he agrees. Only to protect his family jewel. The best cook in the universe will always be HIS mum. Make no mistakes!
He wants to hang out with his friends – without you.
When we fall in love, we need to say his name in every sentence. Anyone inviting you out for a drink or wedding or lunch or dinner or a trip to Saturn, you rsvp for two. Your girlfriend rings you up crying “Oh my god my fiancee dumped me”, you bring him along to her house so that he can give her the “male perspective”.
The thing is, guys are rarely like that. Of course we have seen the odd one or two, wanting to share the same air space with his beloved all the time. That is an exception. When he puts on his cap and declares he is heading to the pub with the boys, do yourself a favour and opt to stay back. Rerun of Friends is much fun than hearing them bicker about their favourite football club.
He likes it that you are independent – just not all the time.
The bulb burned out yet again. Check.
The brake pads are worn out. Check.
The tap is leaking. Check.
Yes they love it that we do not need them to do everything for us. Ne-yo’s “Miss Independent” is probably the ringtone assigned for you. However, the fact is a man needs to feel like THE man every now and then . Next time the washing machine breaks down, put on your lip balm and pout like a helpless Japanese anime character. Watch him whip out his Superman costume, even if all he does is call a handyman or Google the solution!
There you go, a list of what he might not ever tell you. It is hardly morbid, but it is there. Do you need to worry? Only if you are not checking out his best friend!
