I was recently prescribed some weight-loss pills by my doctor to help me lose weight, and I’m bold enough now to share it with the world. I’ve been on this string of medication for just over a week and all it has done is turn me into some a self-loathing sob story.
Within 12 hours of taking my medication, I’ve experienced trembles, a gastric attack, nausea, racing heartbeats, and I feel dizzy about 95% of the day. These physical side effects were’t the only thing that put me off weight-loss pills. In fact, they took a toll on my mental state as well. As the hours went by, I noticed that the usual things that made me happy started to lose its charm. There would be small moments of calmness, but I generally felt unhappy. Everything lost meaning; but I wasn’t suicidal fortunately. I mainly had regrets about everything I have done, everything that I am, and then the worst feeling of all hit me – the fear of loneliness. I’m pretty sure everyone’s afraid of dying alone and if nightmares were to be a reality, loneliness would be the walking nightmare that lingers everywhere you go.
My pills consist of appetite suppressants and a carbohydrate burner. And while it seems to be doing some good in their respective departments, having these low bouts of emotional emptiness made it clear to me that food actually happy. I can’t determine if I’m an emotional eater, but just being able to enjoy a serving of anything somehow brightened up my day.
The new and “improved” me found eating to be a chore. In fact, I am rarely ever hungry and i can hardly eat 5 mouthfuls without feeling my gut’s about to burst! Quite a remarkable improvement from my regular eating habits, but I’m not a supermodel. I’m pretty sure I need more than a quarter of an appetizer serving of soup, to get through 4 hours, right? This new lifestyle is like a mirror to me, and I can actually observe myself and see just unhappy I am at times.
This whole cycle has left my mind wondering if people really felt sad or in any way depressed about dieting, and why they continue doing it. The urge to stay fit aside – how is looking good worth it when you feel like invisible and hollow half the time? Who’s idea was it to make pills that made you not want to eat? Why isn’t there a pill that positively alters your brain to want to go out and play Frisbee with your dog? All I see is negativity and self-loathing in appetite suppressant pills.
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