“Why doesn’t he ever attempt to fix anything? He keeps blowing everything off like it never happened. He never listens! Maybe he doesn’t even care – I won’t be surprised. I hate him! I’d rather talk to a wall. We might as well break up!”
Before you go crazy thinking that your other half doesn’t care, take a deep breath and ask yourself if you could be overreacting. Or at least try to understand that men aren’t programmed the same way women are. Nobody likes arguments. But while women love talking about their feelings (face it, we’re emotional creatures at times), some guys fix problems by simply ignoring them, hoping that they’ll go away, hassle-free.
Here are some ways you can avoid from turning a not-that-big-of-an-issue-after-all debate into a full-blown argument with your man:
1. Like we said, take a deep breath. Or two. It helps to (quite literally) clear the air or clear your thoughts before you respond to anything that he is saying. Or not saying.
2. One of the worst things you can do to yourself, to him, and to the relationship is overanalyzing. Don’t. Reading into every little thing he says will escalate the argument even more, filled with random, out-of-nowhere accusations and more hurtful words.
3. Calmly ask him for clarification on the topic of conversation to ensure that you didn’t misunderstand him. Some guys aren’t good with words. Maybe he meant something differently but just phrased it badly and in turn, accidentally hurt your feelings
4. Don’t expect him to know how you feel. If what he said unintentionally hurt you, let him know. No need to yell. Just tell him gently that you didn’t appreciate his tone of voice or choice of words and that you’d prefer he doesn’t say it again.
5. After addressing the issue and a thorough discussion, always have the decency to apologize regardless of right or wrong. If need be, give each other space and by all means, relax! Listen to your favourite songs, go out with your girlfriends, or treat yourself to a little retail therapy. It will help you center yourself and maintain your own sanity.
Last but not least, be rational. We know we’re complex creatures but if he’s a good guy, and he’s with you (and no one else), then you and I both know that he’s there for a reason. Remember that.
