Sometimes, in a relationship, there’s that one thing (or rather, one word) that strikes fear in a person’s heart. Oh you know. The people who love their other halves a lot, they probably think about their other halves all the time and they have no interest whatsoever in anyone else – but they have a fear of commitment. Ever met a man like that? Why are they that way?
1. Loss of freedom and space.
Everybody likes living by their own rules and doing things they want to do without having to report to somebody. When a woman enters a man’s life, things change. Suddenly all his “guy things” are involuntarily taken away from him (e.g. hanging out with friends, playing sports, etc.) and he starts reeling with panic. Worse yet is if the woman in question is the type to completely want to “take over” and exerts control. Then the guy feels trapped and finds himself doing whatever she wants to do, whether or not he wants to.
2. Just that one girl forever.
Uh, well, men. At a certain age they’d want to be able to explore and “see the world”, so to say. In such, the craving for sexual variety comes in play. So it would be scary for them to think that they need to cut themselves off all other “pursuits” and devote themselves to just one girl. And if that turns out bad, boredom sets in. This will eventually cut off all longing for a person followed by a lack of desire. Aherm. Sexual boredom.
3. Emotional baggage.
“My father has two wives and a girlfriend”
“My mom left my dad for another man”
“My ex-girlfriend cheated on me and broke my heart”
Some men carry a lot of childhood issues (read: family history of marriage problems) or have had bad experiences with previous relationships. When they say that women are the complicated ones, it’s not entirely true. Some women view marriage like a fairy tale (thank you, Disney) but some men lug emotional baggage around with them and may make the decision never to get involved in a serious relationship again.
4. Not ready for it.
Serious relationships often suck up a lot of time and energy because of the extra effort people have to put in to make it work. So much so that it can take over lives entirely. This could turn a person off and feed the commitment-phobia. Remembering important dates? Spending quality time? Getting along with family members? Hassle (to them, at least)! Furthermore, there are fewer societal pressures to wed early these days (especially for men) so they just put it off and blame it on being commitment-phobic.
It’s not that they are incapable of loving. But they fish out all sorts of excuses, depending on the individual. Still, it doesn’t change that they share the one profound thing in common – the fear of commitment.
