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Ask The Expert: How Do I Avoid The ‘Friend Zone’?

by Simone Camy
February 22, 2013
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Dear Ms. Lipstiq,

I really like this guy, and we get along so well… but I don’t know if he sees me the same way as I see him. When we hang out with friends, he’s always by my side, but at the same time, he’s the same with everyone else. There are times when we spend time together, but it feels like he’s trying to friend-zone me in a way. It’s usually because of the way he talks to me. He’ll either refer to me as his best friend, or he’ll joke around about being my older brother. I don’t want to seem to eager, but I also don’t want to be friend-zoned in a situation like this.  Am I over thinking this? Should I be worried about getting friend-zoned? How do i avoid it? Please help me!

Alicia

Dear Alicia,

It looks like you’ve got yourself in a sticky situation and a common one too. The ‘friend-zone’ can be a little harder to deal with and there really is no right or wrong answer to solve your problem. Sometimes, guys will refer to you and a ‘sister’ or ‘best friend’ because they don’t want to make it seem to awkward for you both. The best way to handle it, is the talk about. Confessing how you feel may be a little scary – but maybe you could ask him if he ever saw you more as a friend or ask him what he really things of you. Small things like that will some what get the ball rolling and that’s when you can start to bring up the more serious matters at hand. Really, the best solution is to talk it all out. Make it clear – but start small and don’t jump into things because that will definitely create distance between your friendship and you don’t want that. It’s not uncommon for friends to fall for each other – the comfort brings attraction and it’s totally fine. Just deal with the matter at hand, and move forward from there. We hope this helps!

Ms. Lipstiq

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