Breakups are never easy, even if you’re the one who initiated it. Of course, if you were broken up with, it’s likely to be harder on you than the person that did it to you, and at times it might seem like your entire world is falling apart.
Breakups are your worst fear (when starting a relationship) realised. Sometimes it feels like as though it’s the end of the world and at times it is because the one person you thought would never break your heart just did. Will you ever recover? Will you ever want to shave your armpits and get dressed up for a night out again? Will this gut-wrenching, heart-stabbing pain ever stop? Will you ever believe how “you’re better off” without him?
Here are some things you should drill into your head if you’re going through this ordeal:
There will always be someone better
I remember my grandmother telling me this when I went through a breakup. She said, “It can never get worse and you will only find someone better each time.” And she was right. It’s tough to think of what might be when all you can think of is what was, but there will be a next guy. Even if you don’t want there to be, just know that there will be.
Time heals pain
So cliche and so annoying to hear, especially when you’re the one that has to deal with pangs of loneliness but it’s really true. In time, the pain fades and the situation gets easier to live with.
You’re vulnerable right now and that’s okay
Nobody said that being strong means not feeling anything at all when going through a break up. You’re vulnerable and broken at the moment, and that’s more than okay. Go through each feeling slowly and work through each one. You will be stronger from feeling each emotion that overcomes you.
You will feel again
I know, it seems a little hard to imagine yourself feeling secure and safe but you eventually will get to that point. Right now, everything seems bleak and yeah, it really does suck but if it’s not in the arms of another person, you will feel safe and protected on your own. Not even a new guy can beat that kind of security.
Don’t pay no mind to what people say
People will say a lot of things when you’re going through a breakup. They will try to pass their personal wisdom to you and you might feel obliged to take it all in, but don’t! Do what feels right and comfortable for you. Deal with the situation and your emotions at a pace most comfortable to you.
Your heart is everything
Remember that while it is a wonderful thing to love someone, you’ve got to love yourself first because when all else fails, you’re the only person that can be there for you. In life, people can disappoint you and leave you, so don’t place your entire heart in their hands because it will take a long time for you to find it again.
Indulge but do it moderately
Mint chocolate chip ice-cream, candy bars and casual sex are all ingredients to help soothe a break-up pain but do it moderately and remember to look after yourself, even if your entire self feels like crap. Start a new fitness class to keep your mind off things. Not only will you feel great after but you will look fabulous.
You’re worth it
Not to sound like a L’Oreal spokesperson but you are worth it. Worthy of love and worthy giving away your love to the next person that comes along. Give time some time, if that makes sense. Soon you will realise that the heartbreaking ordeal you just went through will only shape you to be a better person, who’s capable of loving someone and being loved.
