We currently live in an era full of modern technologies—and still in on-going pandemic. So, texting, calling, DM-ing, has become the new norm. We even practice socially-distanced dates by engaging on FaceTime and Zoom. But how many of us will admit to having virtual sex?
For people in monogamous relationships, (but living apart), it can be tough to keep things interesting. But, according to a study at the University of Indiana Bloomington Kinsey Institute, innovative technologies that enhance sexuality can actually increase connection between people during intimate moments. Oohh! So, lovebirds, don’t let distance get in the way. Maintaining some kind of sexual contact is important for two reasons, first, it can keep the romantic side of your relationship alive while separated. Second, it can provide needed stress relief to help with the difficulties that can occur during physical separation.
But because Zoombombing, hackers, and revenge porn exist, it’s not as simple as just opening an app and getting down to business. So you should defo be taking some precautions before getting off via video chat, okay? If virtual sex is new to you, remember that you’re learning a new sexual skill—check out our guide to having virtual sex.
1. Set The ‘’Mood’’
Setting the mood and getting warmed up is just as important during video sex as it is for in-person sex, ya know. Hopping into a video chat and immediately getting busy might feel a little awkward. We suggest sharing a sexy playlist with your partner before getting busy. Then, take them on a tour of your sensual space—describe how your perfume smells, how soft your sheets are, what colour is your undie etc—to set the scene. Or maybe, you can also do an activity to set the mood, like watching a sexy movie together via Netflix party. Put Fifty Shades of Grey on screen.
Setting the mood and getting warmed up is just as important during video sex as it is for in-person sex
2. Start slowly & Check In With Each Other
It’s okay if you don’t want to bare it all or try something kinky on camera. Remember to continue talking about your needs as a couple, pay attention to you and your partner’s interests.What keeps them going, so on and so forth. Over time, you might want to dive in deeper or need to take a break from these kinds of interactions. Comfort levels change, and that’s perfectly fine. Check on your partner’s needs as well, don’t be too focused on satisfying your own needs, duh.
Check on your partner’s needs as well, don’t be too focused on satisfying your own needs
3. Be Yourself
I truly believe that affirmation and authenticity are the most important aspects of these vulnerable experiences. Encourage your partner to do what feels genuine, too, and it’s okay if your interests don’t align all the time. Remember to have fun, and most of all, don’t put too much pressure on yourself. We’re all dealing with enough of that already.
