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How To: Get him to open up to you

by Lainey
October 10, 2011
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A relationship is a medium for us to feel cared and loved for. And more often than not, you might feel like you’ve come to a dead end, especially when your man finds it hard to open up to you. Don’t panic yet – it’s perfectly normal for relationships to have its ups and downs as much as your life would have its own set of highs and lows.

What you need to do is offer as much emotional support as you can – without pressuring him, of course. Men are highly prone to stress because of their tendency to compete or be aggressive so, armed with a large amount of patience, walk him through it.

1. Offer solutions.

Men are usually stressed out due to career-related or finance-related issues. If you’re lucky, there would be a rare occasion where he’s stressed out about a recent Manchester United vs. Arsenal match. So don’t panic unnecessarily when he’s in a bad mood. Use simple words and gestures to find out what’s wrong. And no, don’t say, “What the hell is wrong with you?” because that’s not really going to cut it. Stay composed, be really polite and ask, “What’s wrong? Let’s talk?” and then, once you understand the problem, try offering a solution or two that might work. It doesn’t have to be foolproof, but at least you offered your help and support.

2. Give space.

If he finds your solutions non-feasible, then ask him about ways that you can help. It’s okay to not have a solution to his problem. We’re only human after all. If he seems distant, and unwilling to listen, then maybe it’s better to just give him some space and let him work things out on his own. He would most likely not want to be bothered if he doesn’t want a solution right away. Again, don’t panic, and don’t make things worse by taking it personally. The last thing he wants when he’s stressed if for you to pick a fight with him. If you get upset whenever he tells you his problems, it won’t be long before he stops opening up to you.

3. Reassurance.

Even for women, there’s nothing more comforting to a person and to a human heart than knowing that love is unconditional. Don’t brush him away just because he refuses to open up and have him close only when times are great. When you do that, he won’t have confidence in you or the relationship. When you’re committed to your other half, you want to go the full distance. So, let him feel your presence in his life and let him learn to trust you (and your love). You don’t need to sit by him 24/7; just reassure him by saying, “It’ll be okay, and I’m always here if you need me”.

Remember to offer physical comfort too, if need me. A hug, for example, is something we generally take for granted. It can speak a thousand words and sometimes, all that is needed is a simple hug. Offer one, or two, and perhaps over time he’ll warm up to you.

AdviceMenRelationshipsTipsTips & TricksWomen
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