Parents often spend the first ten years of their children’s lives telling them be seen and not heard yet spend the rest of their lives trying to get their teenage and subsequently grown up kids to talk to them. Its a frustrating process because for kids, they will confuse your concern with intrusion and block you out despite your efforts.
Here are some methods you can try out to get your kids to open up and share their feelings with you.
Don’t Judge
Telling your kids off everytime they try to tell you something just because ‘you know better’ will only deter them from telling you more. Nobody likes to be told they’re wrong all the time. Listen as they talk, show interest and curiousity.
Ask open ended questions
If you want to get to know your kids, ask open ended questions that allow them to think and express themselves better. Yes and no questions are often intimidating and leads the child to think that you’re interrogating them.
Don’t force them to talk
There may be moments where you need to coax your child into talking to you especially if they’re facing issues in school like bullying or the birds and the bees. Always make yourself approachable and know when to be a parent or a friend.
Engage in fun activities
Whether its a sport, a day at the theme park or working on a puzzle together, doing something fun together can help break the ice between you and your child. Slowly break into the topic you want to talk to them. One method my dad used to use on us was to make conversation with us during one one one trips to the hypermart or while sending us back to college. Sure it was awkward considering we never really spoke much even at home but as we grew up, we appreciated what he did!
Be at home with them
Kids who rarely see their parents feel connection to the latter, it might lead them to eventually treat you like strangers. Always make your kids feel like they mean the world to you and they’ll treat you the same.
