Never lose yourself.
No one gets in a relationship with the intention of losing one’s self in the midst of the relationship — but somehow, five months later, you look back and wonder just where your sense of self disappeared to.
When in a relationship, it’s human nature to mix the separate emotions from each person into one, all with his or her respective, much-needed taste, texture and value, and by the time you are halfway through it, you realise that you don’t know where his sense of adventure started and your dreams ended.
As a girl, you do not want to lose yourself in a relationship. You should be able to still hold on to things you love most while maintaining a healthy and serious relationship.
Here are seven things you should never lose when in a relationship:
1. Your Freedom
Your boyfriend might be your favourite person to hangout with every day but spending time apart is not only healthy for your relationship, it is also necessary for keeping you free. If you want to wake up to jog or do yoga at six in the morning, do it. If you want to drop half of your paycheque on a really expensive bag that you have been eyeing or if you want to go out and party, do it! Always remember that you are inviting him into your life. If he has an issue with you spending too much or you doing your own thing, talk about it but never write-off your priorities and needs just because they don’t match with his.
2. Girls’ Night Out
One of the biggest challenges a girl in a committed relationship faces is staying committed to Girls’ Night. It’s not that we don’t want them there or that we don’t want to spend time with our girls but after a long day at work, it is just so much easier to curl up on the couch with our boyfriends and con them into watching hours of Grey’s Anatomy reruns. But here’s a tip, committed or not, you need your girls. Nights out with your girls will remind you that the person you were before you got into a relationship is still very much alive and well — they keep you sane.
3. ‘Me’ Time
Like it or not, we all need our space. You need your space, you need your alone time. Time where you can throw on your sweats, remove your make up and dive head first into a bag of chips while you wait for your pizza to arrive or where you can just read a book and enjoy your own personal space and time. This helps with you staying independent.
4. Your Sex Appeal
Newsflash sweetheart, you are still a woman. A beautiful woman and you you deserve to look and feel every ounce as gorgeous as you are. Just because you are in a committed relationship, does not mean you have lost your right to wear dresses that flaunts your curves and cleavage bearing tops that will bring grown men to their knees. These men can look, but they can’t touch.
5. Your Boys
Are you that girl — the guy’s girl? It’s okay if you are and if your partner is that insecure about you having friends of the opposite sex, then seriously, what are you still doing with him? You have been friends with your guys friends before you got into an relationship and things do not have to change just because you are in a relationship. Your boyfriend needs to understand that you maintain a strictly platonic relationship with your guy friends.
6. Your Family
If you find yourself spending time with your boyfriend and his family than you do your own, then something’s wrong somewhere. Your family is made up of people who made you. They are the ones who stood by your through everything, feed you and put a roof over your head. Always remember that they love you and balance it out. Spend time with them as well as with his family and get him to do the same.
7. Your Wandering Eye
There is no shame in the game, ladies! A little eye candy is perfectly fine so don’t feel bullied into doing something wrong. There is no harm in looking at or checking another guy out. Chances are, your guy is doing it too and he never asked for your permission, now did he?
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