In the beginning, a relationship is pretty much all about you and your partner but once you’ve both agreed to get married, that’s when the trouble starts. Perhaps you’re thinking, of course I’m likeable, right? If his folks adore you, then great! But what if they don’t? Here’s what’s going on in every parents mind. To them, they’ve spent 20 over years of their lives educating, nurturing and loving their precious little kids and one day a woman (like yourself) swoops him away just like that. Yes you may call in jealousy or perhaps even theft, you did steal his heart after all.
Try to understand what their concerns are. For example, if they dislike the fact that their son is spending less time at home, make effort to attend family functions or have weekly dinners with them. If they’re worried that about your religion and beliefs which may be different from others, show them that you’re open to learning about theirs as well without sacrificing yours. Ask for their opinions even if you already know the answer. Parents like to feel that they’re still needed by the children even when they’ve long grown up.
Some parents are fantastic to get along with but others put up walls. His parents may have met his other exes (and even preferred the girl he last dated) resulting in them to come across as distrusting when it comes to you. In a nutshell, they just think that you’re not, the one. Unfortunately, you can’t force them to fall head over heels with you over just one dinner. It’s a continuous and perhaps tedious effort which you have to bring yourself to commit to until it becomes second nature. Don’t come across as too eager to please as it may be fake. Listen to them when they talk, ask about their day and maintain a level of respect and soon they’ll be ready to open up. While buying gifts may make you more likeable, bribing your way into someone’s heart will only increase expectations of monetary gifts. One day you’ll wonder if they really like you for you, or for those goodie bags.
Parents always want their child to end up with a suitable partner for life, someone who will care and love for them as much as they did and this kind of assurance is important to them. They don’t want someone who will change their son or daughter for the worse. They want to know that even after marriage their kid will not treat them any differently. What you can do is to share little stories or quirks during your courtship and in return they’ll share childhood stories with you.
If his parents still dislike or ignore you after all the effort you’ve made, don’t fret. Some people simply hate change. Don’t let yourself get pushed around and once they realize this, they’ll start to show you some respect. Its important to have mutual respect because if you and your other half decide to bring your relationship to the next level, problems need to be solved and not swept under the carpet as marriage is not just between the both of you but also families from both sides.
This can cause stress to your relationship with your partner if not resolved so if all fails, always talk it out and make sure he does his part in getting you and his parents to get along better. If his parents see that you’re making effort, they will too with time.
