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How To Know That Your Relationship Is No Longer Serving You

When the ‘’love’’ is not enough

by Aqilah Najwa
August 17, 2021
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Sometimes there is a thin line between ‘’fighting for something you love’’, and ‘’letting go for something that is no longer serving you’’. And I wish that I could have understood those two different things sooner. Being in love isn’t easy, if there is one thing that society has failed to teach us when it comes to love is that the perfect and imperfect balance between holding on and letting go. Sure, we should always strive to make the right choice, but how do we know we’re making the right choices especially when it comes to relationships? 

(Source: Instagram)

The first step is acceptance—and or realization. You see, one thing that I learned about ‘’being in love’’ is that having the common ground of love is simply not enough. But, when your heart is still heavily tied to and fully invested in a certain someone, letting go doesn’t always seem so clear cut. Especially no matter how many times your heart aches for being free. Though, several reasons may come into play; his smell, the attraction that you both once felt, the moment of shared laughter, the make out, the so on and so forth. 

One thing that I learned about ‘’being in love’’ is that having the common ground of love is simply not enough

Yes. Relationships do take work, but there are two different kinds of work that can unfold between lovers. One feels clear, well-intentioned, calm, and collaborative. The other feels desperate, anxious, exhausting, and lonely. If you’re experiencing any of the latter feelings on a consistent basis in your relationship, it’s probably because one, if not all, of the below signs it’s time to let go are transpiring:

You are not happy anymore. Listen, relationships are supposed to lift you higher, so if you’re feeling the opposite, leave. You don’t have to be a relationship expert to understand this. Let me tell you, some people tend to fake their happiness around their partner and wear the best mask to hide the fact that they’re no longer happy and content being in a relationship. Because they are afraid of what the outcome is going to bring. You’re basically tip-toeing around, and it is not healthy. And this is a reminder to you and myself, too. Always put your happiness above others. 

(Source: Instagram)

Another thing I wish I could have understood sooner is that once the trust has been broken, no matter how many flowers or ‘’i love you’s’’ could never mend the broken heart—and thus, the feeling of ‘’being in love’’ is totally gone. Whether it is cheating, lying or broken promises, how hard the other tries to rebuild trust, the other partner can’t seem to open their hearts up fully again. Rebuilding trust is absolutely possible. You have to decide if this is the way you want to live. 

I wish I could have understood sooner is that once the trust has been broken, no matter how many flowers or ‘’i love you’s’’ could never mend the broken heart

Last but not least, the most obvious one is when you can just feel that things aren’t used to be the same anymore. The passion and the good times you once felt.. Hell, even the attraction has totally gone. When you find yourself missing and yearning for the old memories rather than the person itself, it is time to bid your farewell. And honestly, this is a reason why many people cheat and seek to fill the emotional gap with someone else.

Tags: CoupleLoveRelationshipRelationship Problems
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