December brings a lot of joy, presents, and family reunions for some of us. While it’s great to bond with your aunts, uncles and cousins whom you rarely see, family gatherings will also mean endless comments about your personal life from curious relatives. We’ve gathered the eight most annoying questions and remarks we always get at festive gatherings, so brace yourself!
1. ‘Wow, you look healthy’
Asian people -especially the older ones- tend to have an obsession with your weight. It doesn’t matter if you have a healthy BMI or that you’re comfortable not being stick-thin, they’ll still comment on how you’ve put on weight compared to a few years ago. If they don’t say outright that you’re fat, they’ll substitute it with a ‘nicer’ word like ‘healthy’.
2. ‘Are you seeing anyone right now?’
You might think that being in the 21st century means that it’s perfectly normal to be a career-minded woman whose priority is not settling down. Nope, not for your aunts! If you appear at the family dinner without a significant other, it just means one thing for them: you’re a sad, sad, spinster.
3. ‘Whatever happened to…’
Every guy you’ve ever dared to bring to your family gatherings will have a permanent altar in the memories of your extended family. Be ready to answer questions about where he is, why he’s not there, and why it didn’t work out. You can re-live your break-ups again, courtesy of your nosy relatives.
4. ‘When is the wedding date?’
Now, if you are seeing someone, they’d only have one goal in mind: to see you walk down that altar! At family gatherings, your relationship is not a personal matter anymore, it becomes a family affair until you have a ring on your finger. And when you finally do…
5. ‘When are you getting pregnant?’
No, getting hitched is not enough. Your aunts and uncles must see you pregnant. To them, having babies after you’re officially husband and wife should be your priority. If it isn’t, they’ll talk their throats dry for the rest of the night until they get some sort of promise from you that you’ll be providing them with a toddler for the family.
6. ‘What is it that you do/study again?’
As typical Asian families go, anything outside the ‘big 5’ is puzzling. If you’re not a doctor, lawyer, accountant, engineer, or architect, you might as well not bother telling them what you do – you’ll just see question marks in their eyes. And God forbid if your significant other doesn’t fall into any of those categories either.
7. Being compared to your other cousins
Asian families are competitive, even among each other. Brace yourself for another round of humble bragging among your aunts. You and your cousins will be pitted against each other to see who’s the most successful up to date. When you were younger, it was about who was the tallest and who made it to the top three in class. Now it’s all about who has the best job, or who got married first. Our advice: cousins should stick together and just go far, far away from your aunts and walk towards the direction of the bar.
8. Your past re-lived
Do you remember that embarrassing incident from 18 years ago when you cried upon discovering a fly in your porridge bowl? You don’t? Well no worries, your extended family members have excellent memory of every embarrassing moment you’ve gone through since you were in your diapers. These stories will be repeated at every family gathering at your expense.
Despite all this, remember: while some relatives can be tactless with their comments, that’s no reason for you to avoid them or create an uncomfortable atmosphere. Try to laugh it off and enjoy yourself – after all, they’re still family. Happy holidays!
