Actor Michael Douglas is blaming throat cancer on his healthy sex life. The star of Basic Instinct and Fatal Attraction has revealed that his throat cancer was apparently caused by performing oral sex.
In an interview with the Guardian, he explained that his condition was nearly fatal when he was diagnosed three years ago. When he was asked if he thought smoking or drinking was the cause of the disease, he replied:
“No. Because without wanting to get too specific, this particular cancer is caused by HPV (human papillomavirus), which actually comes about from cunnilingus”.
Douglas, who is also married to Oscar-winning actress, Catherine Zeta-Jones, continued:
“I did worry if the stress caused my son’s incarceration didn’t help trigger it. But yeah, it’s a sexually transmitted disease that causes cancer. And if you have it, cunnilingus is also the best cure for it”.
Douglas thinks his throat cancer is caused by going down on his wife, Catherine.
While many believe that Douglas’ cancer was related to his tobacco habit, coupled with his drinking habits. In 1992, he was hospitalized for an addition which he also claimed to be sex, but denied it and claimed it was for alcohol abuse. (Source)
HPV is known for causing cervical cancer and genital warts, and is thought to be responsible for an increasing proportion of oral cancers.
In May, a study showed that HPV is linked to esophageal cancer through acid reflux when the acid affects the esophagus. While we’re very much convinced that Douglas’ cancer is quite possibly due to his vices, it’s still a good idea for everyone to go out and get a HPV vaccination right now.
In the meantime, while we can all make jokes about Catherine Zeta-Jones’ cooch, we’ll let the funny fellas of Workaholics do that for us:
