About 20 seconds ago, I had a debate with myself and my finger puppets if men should have body jiggles or not. And then I thought “That really is not important. I should be thinking of other important things”. Like beards. Men with beards to be exact. Men with stubbly, bushy beards that you’d have to use your hands to push all that fuzz away just to plant your lips on his. Maybe this is why I’m so obsessed with Game of Thrones.
My mother always told me that men with beards are often ‘evil-looking’. She would tell me that clean-shaven men are often more disciplined and attractive, which didn’t matter to me. The first time I saw a beard on a man I lost control over everything, chocolates did nothing to satisfy my hunger. I was always the minority for liking beards. All my friends thought I was a nasty girl for liking beards, and so did my mother.
Some Aussies from the University of New South Wales concluded that women find bearded faces more attractive than shaven ones in a study. The study rated bearded men as more masculine, healthy, and more likely to make good parents. Now, I won’t speak for being a good parent, but I can definitely vouch for masculinity.
Give me that ‘full beard’ any time of the day.
The study quoted: “Women judged faces with heavy stubble as most attractive and heavy beards, light stubble and clean-shaven faces as similarly less attractive”.
You’re totally on the right side of the face, researches Barnaby Dixson and Robert Brooks! I bet you’re also bearded men too, and I commend you for it. The findings of the study suggests that “a full-bearded man may be perceived as better fathers who could protect and invest in offspring”. You hear that, mom?
I don’t like how they’re making plans about my fertility, but I do suppose my likings for beards and hairy chests stem is from my intense primitive traits. Hey, men aren’t the only ones who are allowed to think with their you-know-what. I can think with my uterus, and I damn will because a bearded man will be the father to my babies. I’ve not established that entirely, but who knows.
Hal Hunter
Another Aussie study from the University of Southern Queensland, the study found that beards can block up to 90 to 95% of UV rays, slowing the aging process and reducing the risk in skin cancer. So, no skin cancer and a youthful face? I should make my point before my mind wanders. And what’s with Australia and these studies about beards? When did Australian football player, Hal Hunter became the face of all these studies about beards? I bet he has something to do with it. Or I bet he swept the feet of Australian women with his beard.
All I have to say is that I’m sorry for taking 10 minutes of your time sharing my infatuation with beards. But really, I’m not genuinely apologetic. I really like beards. I thank hipster culture for bringing beards back or at least making them acceptable to the public. Now, excuse me while I go find my future husband from this menu of fuzzy delights…
