We were all teenagers once. We yearned to have the freedom of going out with your friends, dancing the night away and sipping on milkshakes until 2 in the morning on a weeknight. We loved our ‘privacy’ but most of all, we always claimed to be misunderstood. The teenage years can be particularly hard on some kids – while a number of them seem to have an easy time getting along with their peers, there’s still a lot of them who can’t seem to fit-in. Observing my teenage years, and other teenagers, I’ve come to realize that the flow of your teenage years stems from the relationship you have with your parents. Often times, having a good relationship with your parents could equate to a fairly healthy personal and social life. After all, your parents are the first people you know in your life, so they would have a certain amount of influence of you.
Teenagers often yearn to be treated like adults, and that usually starts with effective communication between parent and child. So, if you’re planning to get closer to your teenager without being too protective or strict, here are some simple ways to communicate with them, the way they want to.
1. Allocate time to talk things through with your teenager. Teens often want to do their own their thing, but it’s important to teach them the importance of balancing their personal with family life. And the only way to teach them that is to be an example yourself. So, if you spend a lot of your time working without any time to be with your family, chances are your teenager will take it as a cue too.
2. Parents should mould and raise their kids, not impose their ideas to their teenagers. Teens will often develop their own sense of philosophy as they grow and while it is a good idea to constantly remind them on what is right or wrong, it’s still never a good idea to tell them that they can’t achieve if they did things a certain way.
3. When you suspect your children of risky behavior, it’s still reasonable to talk to them about the birds and the bees. Make it as light-hearted as possible so that you don’t get too stressed out in the process.
4. If you have a teen currently in boarding school or in college, you might think that calling them up everyday is the best way to keep in touch with them. But daily interactions may be brief, so schedule a certain time of the week to call. Quality is better than quantity after all.
5. Teenagers often feel that they sometimes can’t open up to their parents because they feel it’s like another lecture to endure. Instead, if they’re any problems they face that you’ve encountered before, have a heart-to-heart conversation with your teenager and tell (not boast) of how you overcame that challenge. This should be to inspire your child to think for themselves.
6. Being a teenager is about taking that leap into adulthood, and while most teenager do want to be treated like adults, you should often give them the opportunity to make their own decisions sometimes, even if it’s something you may not want for your teenager. But making mistakes is all part of life, so give them the space to learn.
