1. Edward Cullen Man Pillow
Just when you thought you couldn’t get enough of Edward, the crafty folk and Etsy make it possible for you spend a night in bed with him. We’re not one to judge, but I guess we all get a little lonely at night. (Source)
2. “Yes, I’m One of Those Twilight People..” Signs
If you want your neighborhood to know just how much of a Twihard you are, this might just be a piece of novelty that you’d like. If you already own one, well done and thank you for the warning. (Source)
3. Bella’s Tampon Tea
By far this is one of the most appalling piece of merchandise known to mankind. But we’re pleased to know that this was made as an art project, and none of the materials in this are edible. (Source)
4. Actual Breaking Dawn Pillow Case with Sex Tears
If you’ve got about US$3000 to burn, you can get yourself this unique shredded pillow case that was used in the Bella and Edward’s sex scene in Breaking Dawn I. The pillow case is also apparently stained with makeup and with real sex tears. We find it a little hard to fathom that, but if you want to own a piece of Hollywood history, it might just be a fair investment. (Source)
5. Custom Twilight Vampire Baby
If you plan on putting the ‘EEP’ in creepy with a serious collection of baby-dolls, the Twilight vampire baby-doll might just be right up your alley. A Lulu doll, reinvented with red glass eyes, fangs and an really creepy stare, we highly recommend putting it in a glass case with a variety of locks when you go to sleep. (Source)
6. Jake’s Ashes
For the supporters of Team Jake, keep a part of Jake everywhere you go with this little vial of his ashes. (Source)
7. Bella’s Womb
Is it a coconut? Is it a confection? No. It’s replica of Bella’s womb containing the fetus of her half-human half-vampire baby, Renesmee. First off, why would ANYONE buy a replica of anyones fetus, and what would you do with it. We suppose to each their own, right? (Source)
8. Twilight Glitter Lube
This is the part where it gets a little 18SX. Glitter Lube. We understand the practicality of having lubricant for intimate moments, but why would you get glitter involved? On a lighter note, Robert Pattinson did admit that he liked this terrible Twilight mercy. “I like the glitter lube stuff. I thought that was really funny”. (Source)
9. The Twilight Sparkle Dildo
This is where it gets very 18SX! When you don’t have the right amount of Twilight sparkle in your life, you can invest in a sex toy. This is where sex toy manufacturer Tantus comes to the rescue of lonely Twihard females in need of a ‘spark’ by a hot vampire. The product apparently sparkles and gets really cold if you put in the freezer, making it feel like you’re having a really intimate session with sparkling vampire. (Source)
10. The Vampire Fleshlight
It appears that a lot of the Twilight merchandise are catered to girls, but what about the boys who need some vampire loving? Get a fleshlight with a bite and you can fantasize a night with vampire Bella. Or whichever one of the female vamps that gets you excited! (Source)
