You are on a romantic dinner date with a hottie and decide to take things up a notch in the bedroom, only to realise when you’re all undressed during the heat of passion that he smells awful down there. Ugh, no bueno. Well, at least it’s better to know now before going in too deep, right?
That’s on a possibly insignificant date, but what happens when you’re already a committed relationship and have to face the problem head-on? It’s a sticky situation – you either suffer in silence for the foreseeable future, or bring it up, risk offending him and hurt his feelings.
While the occasional whiffy breath or stinky armpit can be excused (we’re only human after all – nobody’s perfect), it becomes a serious issue when you begin to go as far as to reject his advances for intimacy and sex because his poor hygiene is a turn off. The relationship only goes downhill from there..
Here’s what you should and should not do:
Don’t attack him – Should you be the kind of person who has the tendency to bottle it all up and one day explode in a rage, do remember that what is done cannot be undone and this isn’t something as straight forward as reminding him to lift the toilet seat up once he is done. He may remember your words forever and this may alter the course of your relationship.
Do drop hints – Men aren’t built to pick up on subtlety and decipher messages, so you may just end up being more frustrated than you were in the beginning, but it’s worth a shot. Get him a nice bottle of perfume and tell him it’s your favourite scent on a man so he wears it more often. For oral hygiene, try the “here’s-a-gum” trick.
Do be direct – If all hints go unnoticed, change up your strategy. Find the right time to bring the issue up and tell him how bad personal hygiene can be damaging in a relationship. Let him be comforted by the fact that you will be helping him get through it instead of allowing him to fend for himself, which may make him retaliate and feel undesirable.
Do discuss it – He may be unreceptive to discussing his hygiene or lack thereof, but make it a point to talk about everything that may be responsible for the problems and come up with solutions together. That way, you can both weigh out the options and see what works. This also pushes him to be more mindful of his hygiene in the future.
Do decide rationally – Everyone has a tipping point. Should be continue to ignore the issues and his poor hygiene is starting to be a chronic problem, you may then need to decide if the relationship is worth it. Bear in mind that your health and wellbeing may be affected too thanks to his gross habits. Think of the infections and diseases that may arise!
Help him to get your love life back on track, but also consider your own welfare!