What does it mean to be a maid of honour? Aside from being the bride’s best friend or closest sister, the maid of honour is usually someone the bride has utmost faith in and someone whose friendship with the bride has passed the test of time and periods of turbulence.
But being maid of honour could just be the start of some turbulence.
As the bride’s official right hand through all of the wedding research, planning, shopping, staging, jitters, and more, the maid of honour is expected to have “superhuman patience” to see the bride through everything. Yes, from the moment she announces her engagement until the very end of the wedding ceremony.
The maid of honour’s role is most important especially when the days close in and the wedding date looms near because as always, it will seem like there are a million things left undone or unaccomplished. The bride will panic, at times she will be paranoid, and don’t be surprised if she cries. In those times of crisis, what are you, the maid of honour supposed to do?
Pre Wedding
1. Communicate.
Start off by discussing with the bride personally and ask her what she has in mind. At least you would be clear on her expectations of you. Different brides have difference sets of wants and needs. Here’s a good chance for you to get your list of duties clarified.
2. Recce.
Be with the bride when she goes to look at different locations for the wedding. And when she has decided, be sure to accompany her to the catering or food tasting. As a matter of fact, be there for her in making decisions for even the tiniest details such as decor, music, and lighting.
3. Dresses.
Your best friend or sister will need you at an arm’s reach when she goes shopping for her wedding dress, your dress, and the bridesmaids’ dresses. It could require multiple tiring store visits and a million fittings, but your opinion matters to her. Also, don’t leave it up to the bride to sort out the bridesmaids’ dresses. Get their measurements for the dresses and hand them over to the bride. You need to be in close contact with the bridesmaids with updates.
4. Invitations.
Ask her whom she would like to invite, and then help her choose her wedding invitations and address the invitations. Then, get down to the seating arrangement as it can be a very difficult process. No, the more isn’t the merrier for some cases. The best thing to do is to draw out the tables and move people around until there is a perfect fit.
5. Attendance.
Keep a close watch on the RSVPs. This is something you and the bridesmaids can all participate in. Offer to contact invited guests who haven’t responded by the requested date. Be prepared to make changes to the seating arrangement if you need to.
6. Party.
It’s not all stress and disorder. Here’s where you get to have fun! Plan and host the bridal shower as well as the bachelorette party. Go all out with drinks, games, and let it be a night to remember (in a good way). Besides, it would be the best time to bond, between you girls!
Wedding Day
1. Assistance.
It’s her big day. She probably has barely had any sleep. And she could be a ball of nerves. She could panic. She could be grumpy. Do help her get into her dress, help her with her train or veil (if any), and ensure that her makeup is immaculately perfect!
2. Pictures.
Point out the key people to the photographer(s) to make sure that both the bride and groom gets photos of everyone that they both want. Brief the photographer(s) prior to the events (both day and night events of the wedding). Better yet, tell them to capture every moment!
3. Order.
You are now officially the “in between” person. If the bride wants to communicate messages to the family or groom, you (or a bridesmaid) will need to do it for her. Practice being proactive a lot here. Nobody is supposed to see the bride until the ceremony so, between you and the bridesmaids, do the running. Make sure there are no problems or issues with the reception or more importantly, the registry.
4. Keeper.
Be her “safeguard” person who holds her bouquet and most importantly, the groom’s ring. Stay by her side at all times, especially at the altar. Rest assured, it’s her moment, her biggest moment, and the moment everyone has been waiting for. Your presence will be the most calming thing in the world at this point.
5. Cheers.
Make a toast, along with a speech, after the reception (during the wedding party or dinner). Not only is it tradition, not only do most people love hearing heartwarming friendship stories, but it would also mean the world to the bride.
6. Treasury.
Be sure to keep track of and lock up all the bridal or groom money packets while the newlyweds are busy dancing or entertaining guests. Best if you have a checklist to run through at the end of the night. You and the bridesmaids can play big parts in ensuring that none of it gets lost of worse, stolen.
Last but not least, provide moral support at all times and keep your ears peeled for everything and anything that the bride would suggest or say. You need to be the best listener that you could ever be throughout this trying time and offer the best, most logical feedback you can ever give.
You are, after all, the maid of honour. You can make the difference.
