Woman to woman: sometimes, life just gets too hard. We always have to put on a smile when hurtful and toxic things are being said to us. It’s so normalised in our society for women to suffer abuse that we don’t even see it as toxic anymore. We see it as something that we just have to accept.
There are certain toxic phrases, for example, that you should never say to a woman, regardless of how harmless they may seem. If they’re asked or said politely, sure – but most of the time, there’s a condescending tone that accompanies them. Usually, people would just blurt it out, thinking that women should just respond – and that’s totally not alright.
Unfortunately, some of you may be all too familiar with these phrases: here are toxic expressions and behaviours towards women that have been normalised.
Some Have It Worse
You know what’s so demeaning? When someone completely invalidates your traumatic experience. This happens too often in the social media world because no one cares about some random woman’s feelings and their trauma. Either they would diminish your entire experience or compare you to others who have it way worse, which is so messed up because everyone’s experiences and feelings are so valid. But I guess society says otherwise.
In certain workplaces or even classrooms, more often than not, women are usually spoken over and nobody would bat an eye. It’s demeaning and hurtful when your voice would be completely shut out. It usually happens when a man does it – and we women just let it happen. It’s utterly frustrating and our opinions and thoughts matter as much as men’s do.
Invasive pregnancy questions are asked way too often, especially of recently-married women. The ones asking the questions never know the women’s circumstances and what they could be going through. As innocent as the questions are, they’re utterly intrusive and extremely uncomfortable to talk about.
Whenever a spousal issue is brought up online, most of the commenters would blame the wife. Cheating? Wife’s fault. Domestic violence? Wife wasn’t too submissive. Divorce? Wife didn’t satisfy the husband. It’s always the women’s fault and never the men’s – which I don’t understand. It’s clear as day who’s at fault, but there’s always a way for people to blame the women.
Women are expected to answer for things that are never their fault or problem to begin with. There’s always this expectation that women should just be completely okay with it, even though these phrases and behaviours are so toxic. Never do we take the time to ask why this is so.
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