Have you ever had someone leave you feeling worse off after interacting with them because trauma-dumping is all they do (every year, every month, every day, every hour, every sec) or just won’t stop complaining about every little thing? Well, it’s common to refer to these people as being toxic, and toxic people are everywhere – at work, school, and even the person you’re connected to by blood. And if you have a hard time dealing with someone like that in your life, it’s helpful to start by pinpointing problematic behaviors, rather than simply labeling them as being toxic.
1. Keep your distance
It is impossible to physically distance yourself from toxic relatives, especially if you live under the same roof or when there is a gathering for an upcoming holiday. Only interact when necessary and if you feel like unpleasant remarks are thrown at you once again, excuse yourself and walk away. There is absolutely no need for you to sit and listen to all that BS and no one can ever say or do anything to you to hurt you unless you let them.
2. Set clear boundaries
Boundaries help remind you to protect yourself from their ways. However, it can be hard to identify and set boundaries if you’re from a family that doesn’t honor or respect them. You get to decide what treatment you’ll accept now, though. For example, hanging up the phone or blocking their number if they continue to curse at you on a call. Always state your needs and feelings directly.
3. Keep private matters to yourself
In other words, what you can and should do is to stay emotionally distant, limiting how much personal info you share with them. When living a private life, you keep your business to yourself, and you certainly don’t feel like you owe anyone any explanations because they don’t know what is going on in your life. Plus, do you really need opinions from boomers (relatives) about what you’re doing with YOUR life?
4. Surround yourself with people who will give as much as you do
You might not have as much freedom in certain parts of your life to decide who’s in and who’s out, but when it comes to the ones you open your heart to, you absolutely have the choice. Choose wisely and don’t be afraid to let them know what they mean to you. Personal tip: Go on a karaoke rage, a few moments of relaxation to relieve stress can work wonders.
Everyone with toxic relatives at karaoke bars starting today:
5. Don’t expect change
Decide where you stand, and then stand strong. You don’t need to do any more than that. They will try to make you bend, flex and break at the seams. Because you have an open heart, the thought that someone might misunderstand you, disapprove of you or dislike you might get to you, but remember that you’re not dealing with someone who is motivated by what’s good for you or your relationship.
People inspire you, or they drain you. Pick them wisely.
