Recently I’ve noticed that there seems to be an increasing number of people involved in “Friends with Benefits” or better known as FB relationships. I am not sure whether it is just me and the people I know, or is it more prevalent than I thought, but I realised that the older one gets, the more jaded one is about relationships.
Many friends that I have spoken to, be it girls or guys admit that the reason they don’t want to commit for now or anytime in the near future is because being committed in a relationship means that they have to abide by too many restriction and rules. The need to “report” to the other half every other minute or so, having to deal with more emotional and mental crap than necessary, and after investing so much in the relationship, the tendency to be badly hurt when things go wrong is just too much to handle. In other words, being committed to someone is just opening oneself to more hassle than needed. Especially with the amount of stress one gets at the workplace, no one would want to go home to more stress.
In a certain perverted sense, I do agree. Being one who is jaded with relationships, I think having friends with benefits gives me comfort, companionship and sexual release whenever I need. Don’t get me wrong, I do invest a lot of affection and effort in a FB relationship as how I would with a committed one, but the difference is that I don’t have to conform to the mold of how a girlfriend should be like. I don’t have the pressure of planning the future, nor do I have to impress his friends and make sure that everyone likes me. It is a very selfish but safe relationship; I expect nothing and at the same time I don’t have to give something out of obligation. If I feel that things aren’t working out anymore, I can just end it without having to deal with parents and friends since I was never a permanent fixture in his life to begin with. I don’t have to report my whereabouts or who I’m with, and I don’t have to get stressed out arguing all the time about “not spending enough time together”.
However, at times I wonder if being in such an abnormal relationship is worth it or not. I have to admit that there are times I would like to hold hands in public, be introduced to his friends as someone special and of course, I can be jealous when he looks at another girl. But as his “friend” all I can do is swallow my wants since we aren’t officially dating anyway. At the same time, while we are “seeing” each other, I also do not know if he is sleeping with anyone else. I am not one to share which is why I can never bring myself to explore the possibilities of a threesome or swingers, but that is another topic to share on. I would want to an integral part of his life; it feels nice to be needed and knowing the fact that you are the one he relies on is an ego boost to any girl’s pride. Instead, being just a “fuddy”, we are doomed to be just another girl behind the scenes; never a trophy he is proud to introduce to his important people.
Do you think there is any other reason why someone would want to be in a FB relationship? Or more like “It’s complicated” as how Facebook puts it. For me, I think it is just how we are always too busy socializing, working and doing our own things that we don’t want to invest so much in a proper relationship when we can conveniently have friends with benefits to count on when needed.