Not long ago, I wrote an article about red flags to look out for in a first date situation. I explained how your date could be a messed up person, and why you, as a perfect unicorn human-being, shouldn’t consider going for a second date. Read all about it here: Signs You Shouldn’t Proceed With A Second Date. And just like toxic relationships and dating, toxic friendships are also “a thing”. Here’s a simple truth; most people tell you exactly who they are – if you’re listening carefully.
The title of the famous “I’ll Be There For You” song by the Rembrandts describes what friends should be for, right? A small family outside of our own biological family, people to lean on and enjoy spending time with. However, how do you know that they “won’t be there for you” when the going gets tough? We’ll help you identify a few red flags to look out for in your friendship.
1. They Backbite A Lot
I once saw a post saying, ‘’Be careful sitting around a group of people who talk about others a lot. Because once you leave, you’ll be the next topic.’’ And whew! Aren’t they right? In this generation though, you’ll never know someone’s real intentions towards you. The biggest mistake you can make is automatically assuming that they won’t gossip about you just because you’re ‘’friends’’. Perhaps it’s time to let go of the one who’s all about the whispers.
2. They Only Call You When They Need Something
That friend who only looks for you when life gets tough for them, but disappears when you need a shoulder to cry on? Yeah, drop their ass, too. They never reach out to you when things are all fun and games, but like to call you first when they need to let off steam. Oftentimes, they just call you for a favour and expect that you will always respond. So tacky!
You’ll never know someone’s real intentions towards you. The biggest mistake you can make is automatically assuming that they won’t gossip about you just because you’re ‘’friends’’.
3. Very Narcissistic
How annoying is it when you try to share your achievement of the day with your ‘’bestie’’ – and they end up making the deal all about themselves? Or friends who always interrupt you a lot when you’re talking. Like, a lot, and never bother for you to finish your story. They only ask you, “How are you?” so that they can get it over with and begin talking about their lives. They like to drown in their own endless monologues.
4. They’re ‘’Obsessed’’ With Your Presence
Picture this: your ‘’bestie’’ gets mad or jealous when they find out you’re hanging out with another person, other than them. Um, red flag alert. They like to know everything you do when you aren’t together. And when you tell them you want to spend some time away from them, they’ll start ringing your phone until you have no choice but to switch it off. Seriously, they’re very very dependent on you.
5. You Feel Drained Around Them
Have you ever heard of vampire sucking energy? Ohh, trust me, it’s very easy to detect. Especially with this generation – you’ll feel drained, lacking energy, moody and dull in spirit every time you hang around them. If you ever find yourself in this situation, please stop hanging out with them. Your gut feeling is telling you something. Take this as a sign that a universe is trying to protect you. And I know, it is not easy for you to cut ties with someone you’ve once considered a ‘’friend’’, but you gotta do what you gotta do. You can read How To Recover From A Painful Friendship Breakup to learn more.