Experiencing infidelity in a relationship can be hurtful and damaging and the immediate response after discovering a partner’s affair is usually a combination of disbelief, anger, sadness and grief.
Let’s face it, the concept of ‘’cheating’’ or infidelity used to be so simple: You slept with someone who wasn’t your partner. You get caught. You’re in deep sh*t and you’re probably split up. But now? The definition of infidelity keeps expanding. With so many dating apps on the rise and social media has become the medium of communication—so where exactly do we draw the line?
However, as insane as it sounds, some individuals believe that there are times when infidelity can rescue a marriage or relationship—and can actually make it stronger. Because to them, by understanding an affair and how it happened can help provide clarity and give answers to the many questions a couple may feel are still unanswered.
It is vital for modern couples to have these types of conversations—early on in their relationship—be open to communicate about everything. Especially anything related to boundaries.
This is not about the ‘’blame game’’, but a time to decode the roots of the infidelity; Why does it happen? How does it happen? What can both of you learn from this situation? All these questions can lead to your relationship to move forward. Although, ideally we want our relationship to have it all, sometimes, it just seems so impossible. Remember that people speak different love languages, love differently, and even have a different idea of ‘’intimacy.’
That’s why it is vital for modern couples to have these types of conversations—early on in their relationship—be open to communicate about everything. Especially anything related to boundaries. But unfortunately, most couples only have these conversations after there’s a crisis. Which is probably already too late. That’s why it would’ve been a much stronger buffer if you and your partner would have done it early on.
Bear in mind that every affair redefines a relationship, and every relationship determines what the legacy of the affair will be. What haven’t we talked about? What needed to be amended? What other secrets have we been carrying? What do we do about our lack of connection? All of these things redefine the relationship.
The best positive outcome is some people say they end up with the most honest relationship they’ve ever had. They turn the crisis into an opportunity to make things better. Divorce isn’t always the solution for everything.